15 Tips To Keep You Sanity During Babyhood

Having a young infant is difficult. You no longer have any time to yourself to run errands or take trips to town, let alone go to the bathroom, and although it would be great if all of the skills we needed were inborn instincts, that's not the case. You don't just have a baby and KNOW how to change a diaper, or breastfeed, or what to do if they don't stop screaming for three hours straight. And that's where this blog comes in handy. Below is a list of 15 tips for at the hospital with baby, and to make life a little bit easier for you and the little one.

1. "These are going to be the happiest days of my life!" Get this out of your head. This is a lie. Sure, you're going to have really great days where you get to gaze into your babies eyes and you honestly think that they're staring straight into your soul. But then you'll have other days where this intimate moment is ruined by your baby farting on your lap or puking on your face. The first year is one of the hardest (until they're teenagers) and it's a learning experience for everyone. But the very first thing you have to learn is that it's not going to be all unicorns and rainbows. Not for a very very long time.

2. Patterns/ schedules are key to everything. Whether your baby has just been born, or you're trying to get them on a sleeping schedule, having a structured schedule will make life a heck of a lot easier. Little did Jesse and I know, you have to do things in a certain order with babies. Our first few nights in the hospital were brutal and it didn't help that I was so drugged out that I could hardly remember my birthday. But with a little bit of help from the nurses (they WILL help you) we discovered that if you did things in the Right order, you wouldn't have to go back and redo them quite so quickly. For example, changing your baby FIRST, and then feeding them is more likely to make them fall asleep peacefully rather than waking up from their food coma and being grumpy because their diaper is uncomfortable. And for bedtime, develop a routine early on. Bath time, bottle time, and bed time, may be a route to go.

3. Know now that parenthood can be extremely frustrating. Even those first few nights in the hospital where you're all goo goo eyed over your brand new bundle of joy can be terrifying, especially as first time parents. If like me, you had no idea what was wrong with your baby at first when it cried, try to think back to #2. Are they changed? If yes, have they been fed? If that's also yes, chances are they need burped (especially if they were just born) or need the cuddles. Just go through the steps and if you've taken care of all of babies needs, they'll be okay if they cry for awhile.

4. While you're in the hospital, ask if the baby can stay in the nursery instead of in the room with you. This may sound horrible and if you want to keep the baby in the room with you, go ahead! But having those few hours of sleep for the first few days is going to help you to heal, and believe me, you won't be getting sleep for a looong time, so enjoy it while you can.

5. Alright, for all you petty thieves out there take note of this. When James and I were still in the hospital, James's bassinet was mounted on top of a cart with multiple drawers. Inside these drawers were extra pairs of clothes, blankets, and DIAPERS. LEAVE THIS THING BARE! Take ALL of the diapers the day that you leave, as well as any wipes, bottles of pre made, unopened formula, and anything else. And don't forget the disposable underwear in the bathroom! You paid for them, you take them. However, refrain from taking the clothes and spare blankets, I'm sure you already have a bunch of cute outfits and the hospital genuinely needs those. Also, ask for a few hospital masks. That way, if you get sick in the next few weeks, you can wear one in order to avoid spreading it to the baby.

6. Whether you had a vaginal delivery or a c-section, you're going to be tired afterwards, maybe even after you get home. To remedy this, NAP WHEN THE BABY NAPS. This is hard to do, especially if you have trouble sleeping during the day like me, but pull the blinds and sleep as much as you can. Your baby is going to sleep more in these first few weeks than ever so take advantage.

7. If you truly can't sleep during the day and it's getting to the point where you're unable to stay awake any longer, phone a friend or family member to babysit for a couple of hours so you can take a decent nap.

8. Don't abuse the babysitter. Whether it's a close friend or family member or a babysitter you found on Care.com or something of the sort, you need to realize that no one WANTS to spend their day getting puked and pooped on by a screaming, stinky infant. If they refuse payment, make absolutely sure to tell them just how much you appreciate it, and if they have their own children, maybe try to return the favor down the road. And as for a non-familial babysitter, pay them the proper rate.

9. In reference to #8, what is the proper rate to pay a babysitter? Ten dollars an hour is NOT accurate. 7.50 an hour isn't accurate either. In my town, people get away with this because they think they can make their living off of babysitting. However, this isn't the case unless they babysit multiple kids from multiple families. If you have ONE child in your family, don't feel obligated to give up your entire salary in order to have a babysitter. In my state, the average pay for a government CERTIFIED babysitter is only 2.50 an hour, and that's on the high end! So why get some lousy high school girl wanting to pay for all of her gas and phone bills and give her 7 dollars or more an hour (that's nearly all of my paycheck) when she isn't even certified? My mother was a certified day care provider for several years and in order to do that, she went to classes on nearly a monthly basis. These classes consisted of CPR classes, diet and nutrition classes, as well as how to react in an emergency. She even had to take special classes in order to watch Timmy, a cousin of mine who had cerebral palsy and down syndrome. (Rest In Peace Buddy) In short, a certified babysitter is the way to go, they know what they're doing.

10. It's alright to be timid when you leave your baby with a babysitter, whether its family or not. I get uneasy leaving my baby with my own mother, and she's had five kids. Obviously she did pretty well since I'm still alive. But regardless, leaving your baby, if only for a couple of hours, is emotionally stressful. Try your hardest to relax anyway and know that you'll see them soon.

11. Every parent has a certain way that they want to raise their baby. No television or video games, no chocolate or candy, exercise every day, etc etc etc. Well, chances are things aren't going to go exactly according to plan. I knew early on that I didn't want James to be a video game junky, and I've stuck with that, but I see now, that television has its advantages. If I need to get dishes done, I can plop James down into his bouncy, sit him in front of the TV and BAM! I have the next twenty minutes to clean the kitchen! As for the chocolate and candy, tasting (as in licking, NOT chewing) candy and chocolate isn't going to make them overweight. Just yesterday, James tried his first candy cane! As long as you monitor them the entire time so they don't choke, and maybe hold onto the candy yourself so they don't swallow it, it's okay for them to have a  couple of licks. Make sure to have the camera handy because their faces are priceless as you introduce ne
w foods! Lemon, peppermint, chocolate, all of these are bound to get a crazy reaction! Just keep it in moderation.

12. Educate yourself. There's no such thing as reading too much or asking your doctor too many questions. For example, there is evidence to show that if you introduce some foods too early on, your child may be more prone to having food allergies in the future, or developing diabetes. When your infant gets to the point of eating ACTUAL table food, learn how to cut certain things up. Hot dogs for example, need to be in half length wise, and then those halves need to be cut length wise, before you cut them into smaller pieces to avoid a choking hazard. Along with food safety, education yourself on sleep safety. Co-sleeping is frowned upon and as cute as that eighty dollar comforter is, your baby isn't allowed to use it for a really long time and it shouldn't even be in the crib. Read up on all of your safety guide lines, it could save your baby's life.

13. To make everyone happy, try to stay organized. Your baby's closet can probably be gone through every two months at least in order for you to pull out clothes that no longer fit them! James is only seven months old and we already have a huuuuuge tote completely filled with everything that he no longer fits in. It takes some work, but you need the space.

14. Whether you're with your baby's dad or not, be civil. Unless they're complete and total crack heads and they're never going to change, your baby needs their dad in their life. Don't cut off a relationship between them because you're angry at the father. In the long run, this is going to hurt YOU. Not only is the dad going to resent you, you're going to have a child questioning you as they get older wondering why all of the other kids have dads and they don't.

15. Take it day by day and enjoy it! These are the hardest days, but they're also some of the more interesting ones. Your baby is going to crawl, laugh, smile, and say their first words during this first year! Write all of these things down, capture them on camera, on film, and cherish the good times to get you through the sleepless nights and sick days.

As always, feel free to follow us or leave your comments! James would like you a whole bunch if you did =]

Christmas Shopping. DONE! 10 Tips To A Safe, Pain Free Holiday Season

We went and picked up all of James's Christmas presents today! We put everything on layaway the Friday before Black Friday. Jesse and I both hate crowds and I'd be one of those people with a baseball bat swimming it at people so they don't take things from my cart. Black Friday is ridiculous for two reasons.

1. People are killed on Black Friday for video games, waffle irons, and fuzzy socks.
2. The Black Friday festivities end before six o'clock Friday morning. It's Black Thursday people, really.

So we got all of our shopping done early. We spent 179 dollars (Which was under our 200 dollar budget) and we got quite  a few things! I got him several Ugly Dolls because I adore them, and he got a lot of cool stuff that will help him develop and grow, so we're really excited for when he finally gets to open them Christmas day.

A few tips for the busy season....

1. If you don't like going out to go shopping and want to avoid all the hustle, bustle, and crazy people,  stay in! A lot of people aren't aware that the Monday after Thanksgiving has HUGE cyber sales. If Black Friday is too much for you, online deals are the way to go.

2. As crazy as it sounds, have the hubby set the budget. This time of year makes the fellas anxious and to be quite frank, grumpy. They think it's ridiculous to spend hundreds upon hundreds of dollars in such a short amount of time. (They aren't completely wrong there.) So have them choose the budget. If you think that you really need more wiggle room, try to compromise. Jesse gave me a budget of 200 and for just James, that was plenty.

3. You don't NEED the newest gaming system the moment it comes out. WAIT WAIT WAIT. Seriously. Give it six months and I can guarantee the price is going to drop dramatically. The PS4 and XBOX One can wait.

4. If Christmas is a big deal for you, plan ahead of time, way ahead of time. My mom always waits until the very last minute and then spends so much money that I question if she made her house payment that month. If you know you're a big spender, start saving first thing come January. A good budgeting trick that I plan to do next year is to designate a specific money amount to save every week. Week 1 you put in 1 dollar, week 2 you put in two dollars and so on and so forth until you are up to around fifty dollars for one week. By that point, you should have a TON saved up and you won't have to scrounge around in the couch cushions last minute.

5. If your family is anything like mine, you probably do some sort of Secret Santa at one point or another. For these kinds of things, don't feel like you have to go all out. At my family Christmas, the spending limit is 25 dollars, and you can do quite a bit with that. Gift Cards are wonderful and aren't really a cop out in these situations. If you feel like you want to put a little bit more thought into it, go to Dollar General and get the necessities for different 'kits'. Nail polish kits, movie night kits, handy man kits, there's a kit for everything. Throw all your stuff into a cute Christmas container (the movie night kit looks really cool in a popcorn bucket!) and you're good to go!

6. As cool as it is, the professional gift wrapping isn't completely necessary. I know that sometimes its almost like a charity and the money goes towards a good cause, and if you like to do that, great! But there are plenty of DIY tutorials for amazing christmas wrapping online.

7. On another note, Walmart and ToysRUs have really expensive wrapping paper. Five dollars a ROLL? That's a bit much for me... As always, I promote Dollar General. Be sure to make sure you aren't getting jipped by reading how much is actually in the roll before you purchase it. If there's only a few feed of paper for a dollar and you know you have a lot of large presents, maybe go for the 3 dollar roll instead, it will most likely have more.

8. Gordman's has beautiful Christmas decorations. So does Pier 1 and all of those other really expensive stores that I want to live in because they're so beautiful. In reality, if you want to have a little bit of Holiday Spirit in your home but don't want to spend a ton of money, Walmart and Dollar General (I know, DG again) have really cute seasonal decorations that are dirt cheap. Remember James's halloween pictures with all those cute little pumpkins and pine cones and flowers and leaves and all that other cute little harvest stuff? Those were ALL from Dollar General for under 25 dollars. The decorations are festive and cheap and seeing as you don't constantly have them in your house year round, there really isn't much of a reason to pay a ton of money for them.

9. There are some things that you really shouldn't buy cheap. As I mentioned above, I love Gordman's. I think the home decor is absolutely gorgeous. However, I WILL NEVER BUY ANOTHER SHIRT FROM THERE EVER AGAIN. It doesn't matter if you follow the washing directions on there to a T, they shrink and fray on the first wash. I've even tried washing these shirts on the gentle cycle, and they're still ruined on the very first wash. A lot of their clothes are this way. The jeans tear easily and even their baby clothes just don't stay nearly as nice as clothes from other stores. Maybe it's just been my experience, but twenty different bad experiences have kept me away from that clothing department for life. So, in short. Cheaping out with items like clothes and electronics is hit and miss sometimes. Paying that extra dollar USUALLY ensures quality, and to me, I'd rather pay more and have it last longer than pay a little bit less and it fall apart the second I get it home.

10. Probably the biggest piece of advice is that it's Christmas. It's not supposed to be about spending thousands of dollars and showing off your gifts to the neighbors. It's supposed to be about being with your family and showing your loved ones just how much you care about them. The gifts are nice, yes. But they aren't necessary. If you're struggling to put food on the table, please don't feel obligated to spend tons of money on toys your children will only play with for a year or two. Stay within your means. Luckily, there are programs that help struggling families provide gifts for their children for the Holidays. If you're one of these families, I hope these organizations find you.

Shop Smart Folks!

Follow James and I at amazingjames.blogspot.com and feel free to comment and share your own experiences whenever you'd like! (Seriously, NO ONE has feedback for us? Sheesh! Tough crowd!)

50 Secrets to Being a Great Teen Dad

I'm using this blog to give tips, to-do's and no-go's to any teenage families, especially the daddy's, that may actually take the time to read this. I'm sure a lot of these tips can go to older families as well, but mostly, this blog is for me. Jesse is a wonderful dad and though there are definitely areas of improvement (for both of us) he's done great with James, and I really can't ask for anything more.

1. This is probably one of the biggest tips I have. If you're a teenage dad and you Don't already have a job, GET ONE! Especially if you've already dropped out of school, there is NO reason you can't get a full time job. Factory jobs tend to pay ten dollars and up. Find one of those and stick with it. Unless you're going to college, there is really nothing better that you can do than get a good job that can support your family.

2. You have dreams and aspirations. Everyone does. But those need to go on hold for a while. Jesse has been preparing his entire life for being a musician. He's been playing guitar since he was a kid and he's gotten REALLY good in the past ten years, but regardless, he sets this aside because his 13.50/hr job is much more important. That job is what is going to provide for us, not an occasional gig every few weekends.

3. Whether you're in a relationship with your baby Mama or not, you need to get along. That teen mom crap you see on TV? That's NOT how this should go. The world doesn't need another Keefer, or any other idiot on those shows that don't want the 'daddy gig' because they'd rather be a 'gangsta DJ'. Seriously. Your baby needs an angry free environment to grow up in. They deserve that.

4. Be loyal to your family. If you get ticked off about your girlfriend giving someone a simple hello, there shouldn't be any reason in the world for you to text and talk to a bunch of other girls. This whole double standard thing has got to stop. It's annoying and stressful and shouldn't be happening around a child.

5. Sure, you worked all day. That doesn't mean you kick your muddy boots off right in front of the door, pull your socks off and throw them on the couch, and then go into the kitchen, make a ton of food, and not clean up your mess. If your baby Mama stays home with the baby all day, she already has a lot on her plate, she just doesn't get paid for it. Have some respect and pick up after yourself. I for one try really hard to clean up everyday while Jesse is away and its HARD. Take that into mind, don't be a slob.

6. Ten minutes of tidying up the house when you get home from work is not going to kill you. Whether you work 40 hours a week or you're still a student, helping out around the house is going to help YOU as a dad in the long run. How? Because you're not going to get the 'you never do anything' lecture. Cleaning up for just a few minutes a day is going to help you to steer clear from a LOT of arguments.

7. Women's work does not exist. Get this out of your head. This isn't the nineteen twenties and there is no reason that you can't wash dishes or do laundry on occasion. Pull up your damn pants and put your back into it.

8. Accept now that your love life is not going to be the same. As teenage parents, obviously you have some sort of sex life. That's about to change. Babies are exhausting and I for one want to SLEEP by the time eight o'clock comes around. Once you accept this, you aren't going to be nearly as moody.

9. Diaper duty is not just baby mama's job. It will not kill you to change a diaper. It won't kill you to change several diapers. Suck it up and deal with it. The baby needs changed and someone has to do it.

10. One of the greatest things you could do for your baby's mother is let her sleep at night. Even if you work all day, she's tired too. Give her a couple of nights a week to catch up on sleep. How can you do this? As soon as you hear the baby start to cry, pick them up and figure out their needs. Still dry? Give them a bottle. To get this done as quickly as possible, right before you lay down at night, take two or three bottles into your bedroom, fill them with JUST the water, and have your formula right there. That way, instead of going to the kitchen, grabbing the bottles, and Then mixing it, you just have to put in a couple scoops, shake, and you're good to go. Letting baby mama sleep benefits you too. She won't want to bite your head off nearly as often.

11. If you feel that you NEED a social life. It's time to learn how to schedule one. Chances are, when you get home of a day, mom needs a few minutes of her own personal time. Seriously, once your child is able to crawl, baby mama has NO time to herself to just breathe. Even bathroom time is no longer personal. Work out arrangements with your baby mom. If you want a man day, let her know so she can plan a lady day some other time.

12. Weekends are no longer for partying. Having the OCCASIONAL weekend for you and your girlfriend is one thing. But gone are the days of going out every Friday and not coming back to reality until three o'clock Monday morning. Your baby is your responsibility just as much on the weekends as any other day of the week. Get over it.

13. As common sense as it seems, yelling at your baby is a no no. Not only is this pointless, you're going to piss off your baby mama. Jesse sometimes loses his temper and I can tell you right now, all this does is make me EXTREMELY angry. Yelling and spanking are pointless tactics with infants and children. Keep your cool, gather your thoughts, and have another go.

14. I don't smoke, but sometimes, I need a 'smoke break'. I need that five ten minutes a day to get over my frustrations and I know that dads need that time too. If you know that there is no turning back and your anger is moments from getting the best of you, step outside. Vent to the birds, stamp your feet, and then get your butt back in there and take care of your baby.

15. In addition to 14, if you need a break and your significant other isn't around, put your baby in a SAFE place. A pack'n'play or their crib are ideal places to put them. If your baby is 0-4 months old, make sure any bedding that they may not be able to lift themselves off of is NOT in the crib. (There shouldn't be any thick bedding in the crib anyway) The couch, bed, and floor are NOT suitable places to leave your baby. Now that you have your baby in a safe place, go take your break. Your baby is okay to cry for a few minutes while your getting a hold on yourself.

16. When venting to the birds, don't pick up your cellphone. Leave it alone. You don't need to call your mom or your best friend and tell them how difficult your girlfriend is being or how hard being a parent is. Your mom already knows. You're preaching to the choir. And your best friend doesn't care. They probably don't have a child of their own and they're more worried about the next time they 'get some' than your baby drama. You venting is probably only making it so no one wants to come around.

17. Not every crying session calls for you to take a break. Get over yourself and man up. Chances are, baby mama is just as frustrated and she needs a break too on occasion. Sometimes just a few deep breaths can do the trick.

18. If you and baby mama aren't on good terms, try your hardest to be a good dad BEFORE the court is involved. You might be able to work out an agreement on your own that doesn't involve your wages being garnished. Promise to contribute as much as you can and compromise on a schedule that benefits both of you. As a father, you should want to be involved in your child's life. A common schedule used in the court system is when the dad gets the child on Wednesday's and every other weekend. It doesn't seem like much, but work it out.

19. Again, if you and baby mama aren't together, don't be in her business all the time. Unless you have a concern for the well-being of your child, there isn't a reason to call and text her constantly asking where she's at or what she's doing, especially if its YOUR weekend to have the baby. You have separate lives, leave her alone to enjoy herself while the baby is away.

20. It's not cheesy to show your affection for your baby mama in public. Having a healthy relationship is something to be proud of, and holding hands or the occasional peck on the cheek not only shows others that she's yours, it makes her feel like she's wanted.

21. This does not mean that a make-out session is called for. INTIMACY is for the bedroom. Affection and intimacy are two very different things. Don't get them confused.

22. We understand that you're probably a mama's boy. However, you have your own baby now and there is no need for you to CONSTANTLY be up your mom's butt. Visiting the grandparents on occasion is just fine, but seeing as your teen parents, your own parents probably have other children and obligations. They don't need three other people in their house every other day.

23. As a teen parent, you need to get your own place. If you still live with your own parents, know now that it isn't going to last. Sure, you're happy living with your mom, but is your girlfriend? Living with your parents can be extremely stressful on your significant other, especially if they don't get along. (This is something I know well.)

24. You are NOT going to be able to afford a 500 dollar apartment, plus all of your utilities, PLUS anything else that you might want. (Cable, internet, etc.) You don't need a fancy apartment. As long as its CLEAN and you aren't completely surrounded with drug addicts? An apartment is an apartment and for the mean time, you'll have to deal.

25. Storage is your new best friend. Organizational mechanisms, totes, the whole shebang, they'll help you in the long run. Whether you're sorting the mail, separating out your toiletries, or storing your baby's toys, you need storage. Being able to put things away in a proper place is going to relieve stress for everyone and make clean up a breeze.

26. Don't let the only time you spend with your baby be the time that you're taking care of them. Outside from feeding, changing, and bathing, you need more time to bond with them. Go on walks, play with a few toys, but don't stop that bond from being built. Its much easier to develop it now than later.

27. WATCH YOUR DAMN MOUTH! No seriously. It's only a matter of time before you hear your little one say 'oh, sh**'. Don't let them learn this from you. Cut back on the language now so you don't have to change the habit later.

28. Your baby is going to break your stuff, its only a matter of time. If you want to postpone this from happening, pick up your stuff! If you have your favorite CDs sitting out on the edge of the couch, don't be surprised when they're pulled down and smacked together.

29. The bottom line is that it's no longer about you. Your every waking move NEEDS to be about that baby. If you think you had a crummy childhood, don't let your baby undergo the same thing.

30. Be an example to others. There is a fairly true stereotype that teen parents just aren't good parents. Half of the time, they dump their own kids on their parents and say 'haste la vista!' to parenthood. Under NO circumstances is this okay. If your man enough to lay down and make a baby, your man enough to raise one. I don't care if you're FOURTEEN years old, that baby is YOUR responsibility. Not your moms, not your dads, not your grandparents, YOURS. You and your baby's mom have a lot of work to do. If you don't want to be seen as a crummy parent, don't act like one.

31. This seems self explanatory, but our generation seems to be filled with idiots that have no idea what's good for them. Say no to drugs. It's an expensive habit that just isn't suited for family life. You want to teach your child to be somebody when they get older? You want to show them that they're capable of handling anything? Then don't show them examples of YOU depending on a substance to relieve YOUR frustrations!

32. "It's just pot." No. No its not. If you want to land a decent job and keep it? You'll probably have to pass a drug screening. I don't give a hoot if you don't do it often or if you don't think it changes you at all, is it really worth losing your income over? I didn't think so. The bottom line is that it makes it a heck of a lot more difficult to provide for your family if your spending a ton of money on marijuana or other drugs. On top of that, when you are FIRED for not passing a drug screening? That's on your record. Good luck finding another decent job after that.

33. As much as you might want to, your baby/toddler/child doesn't need a pet. Puppies are cute, yes. But they're expensive. Not quite as expensive as your baby, but expensive. Dog food, vaccinations, chew toys, grooming fees, spaying/neutering etc. Until you are financially stable, (this is going to take a very long time for teenagers) you don't need an animal of any kind.

34. Leave the shopping to baby mama. Baby clothes, diapers, anything baby, leave it to her. She probably knows more about what sizes your baby needs, and she'll most likely have a really great time doing it. At the same time, have a say in what's happening. BUDGETING is your key role, seeing as its often difficult for us mother's to control ourselves around THE cutest outfit we've ever seen.

35. When making a family budget, include EVERYTHING. Eating out, sodas you buy at the gas station, the socks you bought because you can't find a single matching pair, everything. Write down your big bills first and then designate a certain amount of money towards everything else each month.

36. Unless you're in college, you probably don't need internet. Having a baby really brings into perspective what your needs really are. As I AM a college student, I require internet for all of my classes. (I'm an online student). You probably don't need cable either. If you DO have internet and want to watch TV on occasion, sign up for Netflix and HULU. It's a heck of a lot cheaper than paying for cable and you can still catch up on some of your favorite shows. Cutting out cable will save you a lot of money in the long run.

37. Down grade your phone. Especially if you have internet at home, you don't need a phone with internet too. You can cut down your phone bill from 70 dollars to 45 dollars by downgrading to a track phone. Walmart smartphones WITH internet still only cost 45 dollars a month. Even on your cheapest phone plans, your still saving 5 dollars by going with a Walmart phone.

38. Your baby NEEDS to see your face. As important as it is to have a job, and a good one at that, don't work so much that you only see your baby on the weekends. Those few hours after work throughout the week will pay off in the long run. I read somewhere that a man that only sees his child two days a week (the weekend) might as well be a divorced man, seeing as they have the same schedule.

39. Nurture your relationships with both your baby and your girlfriend. Even if your baby didn't show up at the time you expected, or if you weren't planning on having children for a long time, you're still a father, and your baby still needs to be loved just as much now, than if they'd been born later in life. Your girlfriend needs some of that love too. The love and support you show your baby is guaranteed to make her fall in love with you even more, but make sure to set aside some of that extra love just for her. A happy mama is a happy family.

40. It is FAR better to let your baby mama feel like she's right than to argue about it. Chances are, her hormones are raging, she's an emotional wreck, and she needs to feel justified and RIGHT in just about everything she does right now. Pick your fights and be prepared to lose all of those. But don't see it as losing, let her have her way. It WILL benefit you in the long run.

41. Your baby saying 'dad' for the first time is going to blow you out of the water. You or baby mama should write these events down. They only say their first word once, so capture the day on film, or write it down in a baby book. But document it. Your baby will look back on those books and laugh.

42. Make good memories. Don't let the only memories you have of being a teenage parent be memories of stress. Go on mini-vacations during the summer, go fishing, camping, take your toddler to Chuck E Cheese for their birthday. You can do so many things for little to no money. Indulge in these things every once in a while.

43. Accept now that your plan in life has changed. Your professional skateboarding career probably isn't going to happen. You aren't going to be some famous rapper or DJ or anything else. Why? Because if they aren't happening now or in the near future, you aren't going to have the time to get them started. You won't have time because you'll be too busy Actually providing for your family. Participate in these things when you can, but don't expect to make a career out of them anymore.

44. Life isn't going to slow down. You only have so many times to stop and really appreciate things before the moment is gone. Appreciate every single moment you have with your baby, even if they are screaming their head off. You are. So. Unbelievably. Fortunate to have had the capability to create that child. And you probably have no idea of how unbelievably precious these moments are, and how easily they can be taken away.

45. Even as dads, you need to read and keep up with everything that is happening in your baby's life. Read warning labels, books about parenting, everything. Educate yourself about crib and sleep safety so you NEVER have to wake up to your baby, motionless and cold in their crib, or in your own bed. You can never know too much. And taking a few minutes out of your day to really LEARN about how to take care of your baby, could very easily save their life.

46. Being a first time parent at our age is terrifying. I've read book after book, article after article about every baby subject under the sun and I'm still scared. I've seen first hand the devastation of SIDS and I don't ever want to experience that. I thank my lucky stars every day when I wake up to a smiling baby in the crib. Be THANKFUL for every single second that you have with your baby. You don't ever get those minutes back.

47. One of the hardest decisions you will have to make before your baby is even born is whether you should stay or go. Some people are truly not meant to be parents. And in reality, even if you helped create that life, both you and the mother have the opportunity to walk away. I BEG of you, if you choose to walk away, make one hundred percent certain someone is there to step in. If you know that there is never going to be a relationship between you and the baby's mother, inform her of this. Push for adoption before all else. Please. Even dad's regret abortion, and even though it's a viable option, there are still consequences.

48. If you decide to stay, go all in. By you and your girlfriend keeping the baby, you're making it so a family that IS financially stable, and IS ready for a baby, isn't able to step in and be the parents that they're dying to be. You need to work your hardest to become financially stable. You want to be able to say someday that you are what's best for your baby.

49. As no-brainer as it is. Don't have any more kids. As a teen dad, you don't NEED anymore financial responsibility. You didn't want any responsibilities to begin with, so why add even more responsibilities onto the mountain high list you already have now? Babies are a blessing. They are wonderful and beautiful, a total godsend. But they are work. They are constant hours of crying, and stress, and anger. They give you so much love, but so many aspects of your life disappear because of a baby. If you can't control your urge to sleep with everything that moves, make sure that birth control is being used. Use a condom. BE SMART ABOUT SEX. You now know that babies aren't dropped from the sky by a huge stork with a blue hat. Now that you know that, take precautions so another bouncing baby isn't dropped into your lap.

50. My biggest piece of advice is to love unconditionally. If you want a long committed relationship with your girlfriend, show her that you are here to stay. And no matter what, love your baby. Be there for them and comfort them no matter how many times you wake up in the night. They won't appreciate it when they're older. They probably won't even recognize how hard it was for you as teen parents. When your kids are old enough, tell them what you've learned and tell them that as much as you love them, you don't want your child to have to go through what you did. Tell them to wait to have kids, to abstain from sex, to be smart when they do have sex, and that no matter what happens, you'll still always love them.

Now, go be a good dad.

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