1. "These are going to be the happiest days of my life!" Get this out of your head. This is a lie. Sure, you're going to have really great days where you get to gaze into your babies eyes and you honestly think that they're staring straight into your soul. But then you'll have other days where this intimate moment is ruined by your baby farting on your lap or puking on your face. The first year is one of the hardest (until they're teenagers) and it's a learning experience for everyone. But the very first thing you have to learn is that it's not going to be all unicorns and rainbows. Not for a very very long time.
2. Patterns/ schedules are key to everything. Whether your baby has just been born, or you're trying to get them on a sleeping schedule, having a structured schedule will make life a heck of a lot easier. Little did Jesse and I know, you have to do things in a certain order with babies. Our first few nights in the hospital were brutal and it didn't help that I was so drugged out that I could hardly remember my birthday. But with a little bit of help from the nurses (they WILL help you) we discovered that if you did things in the Right order, you wouldn't have to go back and redo them quite so quickly. For example, changing your baby FIRST, and then feeding them is more likely to make them fall asleep peacefully rather than waking up from their food coma and being grumpy because their diaper is uncomfortable. And for bedtime, develop a routine early on. Bath time, bottle time, and bed time, may be a route to go.
3. Know now that parenthood can be extremely frustrating. Even those first few nights in the hospital where you're all goo goo eyed over your brand new bundle of joy can be terrifying, especially as first time parents. If like me, you had no idea what was wrong with your baby at first when it cried, try to think back to #2. Are they changed? If yes, have they been fed? If that's also yes, chances are they need burped (especially if they were just born) or need the cuddles. Just go through the steps and if you've taken care of all of babies needs, they'll be okay if they cry for awhile.
4. While you're in the hospital, ask if the baby can stay in the nursery instead of in the room with you. This may sound horrible and if you want to keep the baby in the room with you, go ahead! But having those few hours of sleep for the first few days is going to help you to heal, and believe me, you won't be getting sleep for a looong time, so enjoy it while you can.
5. Alright, for all you petty thieves out there take note of this. When James and I were still in the hospital, James's bassinet was mounted on top of a cart with multiple drawers. Inside these drawers were extra pairs of clothes, blankets, and DIAPERS. LEAVE THIS THING BARE! Take ALL of the diapers the day that you leave, as well as any wipes, bottles of pre made, unopened formula, and anything else. And don't forget the disposable underwear in the bathroom! You paid for them, you take them. However, refrain from taking the clothes and spare blankets, I'm sure you already have a bunch of cute outfits and the hospital genuinely needs those. Also, ask for a few hospital masks. That way, if you get sick in the next few weeks, you can wear one in order to avoid spreading it to the baby.
6. Whether you had a vaginal delivery or a c-section, you're going to be tired afterwards, maybe even after you get home. To remedy this, NAP WHEN THE BABY NAPS. This is hard to do, especially if you have trouble sleeping during the day like me, but pull the blinds and sleep as much as you can. Your baby is going to sleep more in these first few weeks than ever so take advantage.
7. If you truly can't sleep during the day and it's getting to the point where you're unable to stay awake any longer, phone a friend or family member to babysit for a couple of hours so you can take a decent nap.
8. Don't abuse the babysitter. Whether it's a close friend or family member or a babysitter you found on Care.com or something of the sort, you need to realize that no one WANTS to spend their day getting puked and pooped on by a screaming, stinky infant. If they refuse payment, make absolutely sure to tell them just how much you appreciate it, and if they have their own children, maybe try to return the favor down the road. And as for a non-familial babysitter, pay them the proper rate.
9. In reference to #8, what is the proper rate to pay a babysitter? Ten dollars an hour is NOT accurate. 7.50 an hour isn't accurate either. In my town, people get away with this because they think they can make their living off of babysitting. However, this isn't the case unless they babysit multiple kids from multiple families. If you have ONE child in your family, don't feel obligated to give up your entire salary in order to have a babysitter. In my state, the average pay for a government CERTIFIED babysitter is only 2.50 an hour, and that's on the high end! So why get some lousy high school girl wanting to pay for all of her gas and phone bills and give her 7 dollars or more an hour (that's nearly all of my paycheck) when she isn't even certified? My mother was a certified day care provider for several years and in order to do that, she went to classes on nearly a monthly basis. These classes consisted of CPR classes, diet and nutrition classes, as well as how to react in an emergency. She even had to take special classes in order to watch Timmy, a cousin of mine who had cerebral palsy and down syndrome. (Rest In Peace Buddy) In short, a certified babysitter is the way to go, they know what they're doing.
10. It's alright to be timid when you leave your baby with a babysitter, whether its family or not. I get uneasy leaving my baby with my own mother, and she's had five kids. Obviously she did pretty well since I'm still alive. But regardless, leaving your baby, if only for a couple of hours, is emotionally stressful. Try your hardest to relax anyway and know that you'll see them soon.
11. Every parent has a certain way that they want to raise their baby. No television or video games, no chocolate or candy, exercise every day, etc etc etc. Well, chances are things aren't going to go exactly according to plan. I knew early on that I didn't want James to be a video game junky, and I've stuck with that, but I see now, that television has its advantages. If I need to get dishes done, I can plop James down into his bouncy, sit him in front of the TV and BAM! I have the next twenty minutes to clean the kitchen! As for the chocolate and candy, tasting (as in licking, NOT chewing) candy and chocolate isn't going to make them overweight. Just yesterday, James tried his first candy cane! As long as you monitor them the entire time so they don't choke, and maybe hold onto the candy yourself so they don't swallow it, it's okay for them to have a couple of licks. Make sure to have the camera handy because their faces are priceless as you introduce ne
w foods! Lemon, peppermint, chocolate, all of these are bound to get a crazy reaction! Just keep it in moderation.
12. Educate yourself. There's no such thing as reading too much or asking your doctor too many questions. For example, there is evidence to show that if you introduce some foods too early on, your child may be more prone to having food allergies in the future, or developing diabetes. When your infant gets to the point of eating ACTUAL table food, learn how to cut certain things up. Hot dogs for example, need to be in half length wise, and then those halves need to be cut length wise, before you cut them into smaller pieces to avoid a choking hazard. Along with food safety, education yourself on sleep safety. Co-sleeping is frowned upon and as cute as that eighty dollar comforter is, your baby isn't allowed to use it for a really long time and it shouldn't even be in the crib. Read up on all of your safety guide lines, it could save your baby's life.
13. To make everyone happy, try to stay organized. Your baby's closet can probably be gone through every two months at least in order for you to pull out clothes that no longer fit them! James is only seven months old and we already have a huuuuuge tote completely filled with everything that he no longer fits in. It takes some work, but you need the space.
14. Whether you're with your baby's dad or not, be civil. Unless they're complete and total crack heads and they're never going to change, your baby needs their dad in their life. Don't cut off a relationship between them because you're angry at the father. In the long run, this is going to hurt YOU. Not only is the dad going to resent you, you're going to have a child questioning you as they get older wondering why all of the other kids have dads and they don't.
15. Take it day by day and enjoy it! These are the hardest days, but they're also some of the more interesting ones. Your baby is going to crawl, laugh, smile, and say their first words during this first year! Write all of these things down, capture them on camera, on film, and cherish the good times to get you through the sleepless nights and sick days.
As always, feel free to follow us or leave your comments! James would like you a whole bunch if you did =]
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