15 Tips To Keep You Sanity During Babyhood

Having a young infant is difficult. You no longer have any time to yourself to run errands or take trips to town, let alone go to the bathroom, and although it would be great if all of the skills we needed were inborn instincts, that's not the case. You don't just have a baby and KNOW how to change a diaper, or breastfeed, or what to do if they don't stop screaming for three hours straight. And that's where this blog comes in handy. Below is a list of 15 tips for at the hospital with baby, and to make life a little bit easier for you and the little one.

1. "These are going to be the happiest days of my life!" Get this out of your head. This is a lie. Sure, you're going to have really great days where you get to gaze into your babies eyes and you honestly think that they're staring straight into your soul. But then you'll have other days where this intimate moment is ruined by your baby farting on your lap or puking on your face. The first year is one of the hardest (until they're teenagers) and it's a learning experience for everyone. But the very first thing you have to learn is that it's not going to be all unicorns and rainbows. Not for a very very long time.

2. Patterns/ schedules are key to everything. Whether your baby has just been born, or you're trying to get them on a sleeping schedule, having a structured schedule will make life a heck of a lot easier. Little did Jesse and I know, you have to do things in a certain order with babies. Our first few nights in the hospital were brutal and it didn't help that I was so drugged out that I could hardly remember my birthday. But with a little bit of help from the nurses (they WILL help you) we discovered that if you did things in the Right order, you wouldn't have to go back and redo them quite so quickly. For example, changing your baby FIRST, and then feeding them is more likely to make them fall asleep peacefully rather than waking up from their food coma and being grumpy because their diaper is uncomfortable. And for bedtime, develop a routine early on. Bath time, bottle time, and bed time, may be a route to go.

3. Know now that parenthood can be extremely frustrating. Even those first few nights in the hospital where you're all goo goo eyed over your brand new bundle of joy can be terrifying, especially as first time parents. If like me, you had no idea what was wrong with your baby at first when it cried, try to think back to #2. Are they changed? If yes, have they been fed? If that's also yes, chances are they need burped (especially if they were just born) or need the cuddles. Just go through the steps and if you've taken care of all of babies needs, they'll be okay if they cry for awhile.

4. While you're in the hospital, ask if the baby can stay in the nursery instead of in the room with you. This may sound horrible and if you want to keep the baby in the room with you, go ahead! But having those few hours of sleep for the first few days is going to help you to heal, and believe me, you won't be getting sleep for a looong time, so enjoy it while you can.

5. Alright, for all you petty thieves out there take note of this. When James and I were still in the hospital, James's bassinet was mounted on top of a cart with multiple drawers. Inside these drawers were extra pairs of clothes, blankets, and DIAPERS. LEAVE THIS THING BARE! Take ALL of the diapers the day that you leave, as well as any wipes, bottles of pre made, unopened formula, and anything else. And don't forget the disposable underwear in the bathroom! You paid for them, you take them. However, refrain from taking the clothes and spare blankets, I'm sure you already have a bunch of cute outfits and the hospital genuinely needs those. Also, ask for a few hospital masks. That way, if you get sick in the next few weeks, you can wear one in order to avoid spreading it to the baby.

6. Whether you had a vaginal delivery or a c-section, you're going to be tired afterwards, maybe even after you get home. To remedy this, NAP WHEN THE BABY NAPS. This is hard to do, especially if you have trouble sleeping during the day like me, but pull the blinds and sleep as much as you can. Your baby is going to sleep more in these first few weeks than ever so take advantage.

7. If you truly can't sleep during the day and it's getting to the point where you're unable to stay awake any longer, phone a friend or family member to babysit for a couple of hours so you can take a decent nap.

8. Don't abuse the babysitter. Whether it's a close friend or family member or a babysitter you found on Care.com or something of the sort, you need to realize that no one WANTS to spend their day getting puked and pooped on by a screaming, stinky infant. If they refuse payment, make absolutely sure to tell them just how much you appreciate it, and if they have their own children, maybe try to return the favor down the road. And as for a non-familial babysitter, pay them the proper rate.

9. In reference to #8, what is the proper rate to pay a babysitter? Ten dollars an hour is NOT accurate. 7.50 an hour isn't accurate either. In my town, people get away with this because they think they can make their living off of babysitting. However, this isn't the case unless they babysit multiple kids from multiple families. If you have ONE child in your family, don't feel obligated to give up your entire salary in order to have a babysitter. In my state, the average pay for a government CERTIFIED babysitter is only 2.50 an hour, and that's on the high end! So why get some lousy high school girl wanting to pay for all of her gas and phone bills and give her 7 dollars or more an hour (that's nearly all of my paycheck) when she isn't even certified? My mother was a certified day care provider for several years and in order to do that, she went to classes on nearly a monthly basis. These classes consisted of CPR classes, diet and nutrition classes, as well as how to react in an emergency. She even had to take special classes in order to watch Timmy, a cousin of mine who had cerebral palsy and down syndrome. (Rest In Peace Buddy) In short, a certified babysitter is the way to go, they know what they're doing.

10. It's alright to be timid when you leave your baby with a babysitter, whether its family or not. I get uneasy leaving my baby with my own mother, and she's had five kids. Obviously she did pretty well since I'm still alive. But regardless, leaving your baby, if only for a couple of hours, is emotionally stressful. Try your hardest to relax anyway and know that you'll see them soon.

11. Every parent has a certain way that they want to raise their baby. No television or video games, no chocolate or candy, exercise every day, etc etc etc. Well, chances are things aren't going to go exactly according to plan. I knew early on that I didn't want James to be a video game junky, and I've stuck with that, but I see now, that television has its advantages. If I need to get dishes done, I can plop James down into his bouncy, sit him in front of the TV and BAM! I have the next twenty minutes to clean the kitchen! As for the chocolate and candy, tasting (as in licking, NOT chewing) candy and chocolate isn't going to make them overweight. Just yesterday, James tried his first candy cane! As long as you monitor them the entire time so they don't choke, and maybe hold onto the candy yourself so they don't swallow it, it's okay for them to have a  couple of licks. Make sure to have the camera handy because their faces are priceless as you introduce ne
w foods! Lemon, peppermint, chocolate, all of these are bound to get a crazy reaction! Just keep it in moderation.

12. Educate yourself. There's no such thing as reading too much or asking your doctor too many questions. For example, there is evidence to show that if you introduce some foods too early on, your child may be more prone to having food allergies in the future, or developing diabetes. When your infant gets to the point of eating ACTUAL table food, learn how to cut certain things up. Hot dogs for example, need to be in half length wise, and then those halves need to be cut length wise, before you cut them into smaller pieces to avoid a choking hazard. Along with food safety, education yourself on sleep safety. Co-sleeping is frowned upon and as cute as that eighty dollar comforter is, your baby isn't allowed to use it for a really long time and it shouldn't even be in the crib. Read up on all of your safety guide lines, it could save your baby's life.

13. To make everyone happy, try to stay organized. Your baby's closet can probably be gone through every two months at least in order for you to pull out clothes that no longer fit them! James is only seven months old and we already have a huuuuuge tote completely filled with everything that he no longer fits in. It takes some work, but you need the space.

14. Whether you're with your baby's dad or not, be civil. Unless they're complete and total crack heads and they're never going to change, your baby needs their dad in their life. Don't cut off a relationship between them because you're angry at the father. In the long run, this is going to hurt YOU. Not only is the dad going to resent you, you're going to have a child questioning you as they get older wondering why all of the other kids have dads and they don't.

15. Take it day by day and enjoy it! These are the hardest days, but they're also some of the more interesting ones. Your baby is going to crawl, laugh, smile, and say their first words during this first year! Write all of these things down, capture them on camera, on film, and cherish the good times to get you through the sleepless nights and sick days.

As always, feel free to follow us or leave your comments! James would like you a whole bunch if you did =]

Christmas Shopping. DONE! 10 Tips To A Safe, Pain Free Holiday Season

We went and picked up all of James's Christmas presents today! We put everything on layaway the Friday before Black Friday. Jesse and I both hate crowds and I'd be one of those people with a baseball bat swimming it at people so they don't take things from my cart. Black Friday is ridiculous for two reasons.

1. People are killed on Black Friday for video games, waffle irons, and fuzzy socks.
2. The Black Friday festivities end before six o'clock Friday morning. It's Black Thursday people, really.

So we got all of our shopping done early. We spent 179 dollars (Which was under our 200 dollar budget) and we got quite  a few things! I got him several Ugly Dolls because I adore them, and he got a lot of cool stuff that will help him develop and grow, so we're really excited for when he finally gets to open them Christmas day.

A few tips for the busy season....

1. If you don't like going out to go shopping and want to avoid all the hustle, bustle, and crazy people,  stay in! A lot of people aren't aware that the Monday after Thanksgiving has HUGE cyber sales. If Black Friday is too much for you, online deals are the way to go.

2. As crazy as it sounds, have the hubby set the budget. This time of year makes the fellas anxious and to be quite frank, grumpy. They think it's ridiculous to spend hundreds upon hundreds of dollars in such a short amount of time. (They aren't completely wrong there.) So have them choose the budget. If you think that you really need more wiggle room, try to compromise. Jesse gave me a budget of 200 and for just James, that was plenty.

3. You don't NEED the newest gaming system the moment it comes out. WAIT WAIT WAIT. Seriously. Give it six months and I can guarantee the price is going to drop dramatically. The PS4 and XBOX One can wait.

4. If Christmas is a big deal for you, plan ahead of time, way ahead of time. My mom always waits until the very last minute and then spends so much money that I question if she made her house payment that month. If you know you're a big spender, start saving first thing come January. A good budgeting trick that I plan to do next year is to designate a specific money amount to save every week. Week 1 you put in 1 dollar, week 2 you put in two dollars and so on and so forth until you are up to around fifty dollars for one week. By that point, you should have a TON saved up and you won't have to scrounge around in the couch cushions last minute.

5. If your family is anything like mine, you probably do some sort of Secret Santa at one point or another. For these kinds of things, don't feel like you have to go all out. At my family Christmas, the spending limit is 25 dollars, and you can do quite a bit with that. Gift Cards are wonderful and aren't really a cop out in these situations. If you feel like you want to put a little bit more thought into it, go to Dollar General and get the necessities for different 'kits'. Nail polish kits, movie night kits, handy man kits, there's a kit for everything. Throw all your stuff into a cute Christmas container (the movie night kit looks really cool in a popcorn bucket!) and you're good to go!

6. As cool as it is, the professional gift wrapping isn't completely necessary. I know that sometimes its almost like a charity and the money goes towards a good cause, and if you like to do that, great! But there are plenty of DIY tutorials for amazing christmas wrapping online.

7. On another note, Walmart and ToysRUs have really expensive wrapping paper. Five dollars a ROLL? That's a bit much for me... As always, I promote Dollar General. Be sure to make sure you aren't getting jipped by reading how much is actually in the roll before you purchase it. If there's only a few feed of paper for a dollar and you know you have a lot of large presents, maybe go for the 3 dollar roll instead, it will most likely have more.

8. Gordman's has beautiful Christmas decorations. So does Pier 1 and all of those other really expensive stores that I want to live in because they're so beautiful. In reality, if you want to have a little bit of Holiday Spirit in your home but don't want to spend a ton of money, Walmart and Dollar General (I know, DG again) have really cute seasonal decorations that are dirt cheap. Remember James's halloween pictures with all those cute little pumpkins and pine cones and flowers and leaves and all that other cute little harvest stuff? Those were ALL from Dollar General for under 25 dollars. The decorations are festive and cheap and seeing as you don't constantly have them in your house year round, there really isn't much of a reason to pay a ton of money for them.

9. There are some things that you really shouldn't buy cheap. As I mentioned above, I love Gordman's. I think the home decor is absolutely gorgeous. However, I WILL NEVER BUY ANOTHER SHIRT FROM THERE EVER AGAIN. It doesn't matter if you follow the washing directions on there to a T, they shrink and fray on the first wash. I've even tried washing these shirts on the gentle cycle, and they're still ruined on the very first wash. A lot of their clothes are this way. The jeans tear easily and even their baby clothes just don't stay nearly as nice as clothes from other stores. Maybe it's just been my experience, but twenty different bad experiences have kept me away from that clothing department for life. So, in short. Cheaping out with items like clothes and electronics is hit and miss sometimes. Paying that extra dollar USUALLY ensures quality, and to me, I'd rather pay more and have it last longer than pay a little bit less and it fall apart the second I get it home.

10. Probably the biggest piece of advice is that it's Christmas. It's not supposed to be about spending thousands of dollars and showing off your gifts to the neighbors. It's supposed to be about being with your family and showing your loved ones just how much you care about them. The gifts are nice, yes. But they aren't necessary. If you're struggling to put food on the table, please don't feel obligated to spend tons of money on toys your children will only play with for a year or two. Stay within your means. Luckily, there are programs that help struggling families provide gifts for their children for the Holidays. If you're one of these families, I hope these organizations find you.

Shop Smart Folks!

Follow James and I at amazingjames.blogspot.com and feel free to comment and share your own experiences whenever you'd like! (Seriously, NO ONE has feedback for us? Sheesh! Tough crowd!)

50 Secrets to Being a Great Teen Dad

I'm using this blog to give tips, to-do's and no-go's to any teenage families, especially the daddy's, that may actually take the time to read this. I'm sure a lot of these tips can go to older families as well, but mostly, this blog is for me. Jesse is a wonderful dad and though there are definitely areas of improvement (for both of us) he's done great with James, and I really can't ask for anything more.

1. This is probably one of the biggest tips I have. If you're a teenage dad and you Don't already have a job, GET ONE! Especially if you've already dropped out of school, there is NO reason you can't get a full time job. Factory jobs tend to pay ten dollars and up. Find one of those and stick with it. Unless you're going to college, there is really nothing better that you can do than get a good job that can support your family.

2. You have dreams and aspirations. Everyone does. But those need to go on hold for a while. Jesse has been preparing his entire life for being a musician. He's been playing guitar since he was a kid and he's gotten REALLY good in the past ten years, but regardless, he sets this aside because his 13.50/hr job is much more important. That job is what is going to provide for us, not an occasional gig every few weekends.

3. Whether you're in a relationship with your baby Mama or not, you need to get along. That teen mom crap you see on TV? That's NOT how this should go. The world doesn't need another Keefer, or any other idiot on those shows that don't want the 'daddy gig' because they'd rather be a 'gangsta DJ'. Seriously. Your baby needs an angry free environment to grow up in. They deserve that.

4. Be loyal to your family. If you get ticked off about your girlfriend giving someone a simple hello, there shouldn't be any reason in the world for you to text and talk to a bunch of other girls. This whole double standard thing has got to stop. It's annoying and stressful and shouldn't be happening around a child.

5. Sure, you worked all day. That doesn't mean you kick your muddy boots off right in front of the door, pull your socks off and throw them on the couch, and then go into the kitchen, make a ton of food, and not clean up your mess. If your baby Mama stays home with the baby all day, she already has a lot on her plate, she just doesn't get paid for it. Have some respect and pick up after yourself. I for one try really hard to clean up everyday while Jesse is away and its HARD. Take that into mind, don't be a slob.

6. Ten minutes of tidying up the house when you get home from work is not going to kill you. Whether you work 40 hours a week or you're still a student, helping out around the house is going to help YOU as a dad in the long run. How? Because you're not going to get the 'you never do anything' lecture. Cleaning up for just a few minutes a day is going to help you to steer clear from a LOT of arguments.

7. Women's work does not exist. Get this out of your head. This isn't the nineteen twenties and there is no reason that you can't wash dishes or do laundry on occasion. Pull up your damn pants and put your back into it.

8. Accept now that your love life is not going to be the same. As teenage parents, obviously you have some sort of sex life. That's about to change. Babies are exhausting and I for one want to SLEEP by the time eight o'clock comes around. Once you accept this, you aren't going to be nearly as moody.

9. Diaper duty is not just baby mama's job. It will not kill you to change a diaper. It won't kill you to change several diapers. Suck it up and deal with it. The baby needs changed and someone has to do it.

10. One of the greatest things you could do for your baby's mother is let her sleep at night. Even if you work all day, she's tired too. Give her a couple of nights a week to catch up on sleep. How can you do this? As soon as you hear the baby start to cry, pick them up and figure out their needs. Still dry? Give them a bottle. To get this done as quickly as possible, right before you lay down at night, take two or three bottles into your bedroom, fill them with JUST the water, and have your formula right there. That way, instead of going to the kitchen, grabbing the bottles, and Then mixing it, you just have to put in a couple scoops, shake, and you're good to go. Letting baby mama sleep benefits you too. She won't want to bite your head off nearly as often.

11. If you feel that you NEED a social life. It's time to learn how to schedule one. Chances are, when you get home of a day, mom needs a few minutes of her own personal time. Seriously, once your child is able to crawl, baby mama has NO time to herself to just breathe. Even bathroom time is no longer personal. Work out arrangements with your baby mom. If you want a man day, let her know so she can plan a lady day some other time.

12. Weekends are no longer for partying. Having the OCCASIONAL weekend for you and your girlfriend is one thing. But gone are the days of going out every Friday and not coming back to reality until three o'clock Monday morning. Your baby is your responsibility just as much on the weekends as any other day of the week. Get over it.

13. As common sense as it seems, yelling at your baby is a no no. Not only is this pointless, you're going to piss off your baby mama. Jesse sometimes loses his temper and I can tell you right now, all this does is make me EXTREMELY angry. Yelling and spanking are pointless tactics with infants and children. Keep your cool, gather your thoughts, and have another go.

14. I don't smoke, but sometimes, I need a 'smoke break'. I need that five ten minutes a day to get over my frustrations and I know that dads need that time too. If you know that there is no turning back and your anger is moments from getting the best of you, step outside. Vent to the birds, stamp your feet, and then get your butt back in there and take care of your baby.

15. In addition to 14, if you need a break and your significant other isn't around, put your baby in a SAFE place. A pack'n'play or their crib are ideal places to put them. If your baby is 0-4 months old, make sure any bedding that they may not be able to lift themselves off of is NOT in the crib. (There shouldn't be any thick bedding in the crib anyway) The couch, bed, and floor are NOT suitable places to leave your baby. Now that you have your baby in a safe place, go take your break. Your baby is okay to cry for a few minutes while your getting a hold on yourself.

16. When venting to the birds, don't pick up your cellphone. Leave it alone. You don't need to call your mom or your best friend and tell them how difficult your girlfriend is being or how hard being a parent is. Your mom already knows. You're preaching to the choir. And your best friend doesn't care. They probably don't have a child of their own and they're more worried about the next time they 'get some' than your baby drama. You venting is probably only making it so no one wants to come around.

17. Not every crying session calls for you to take a break. Get over yourself and man up. Chances are, baby mama is just as frustrated and she needs a break too on occasion. Sometimes just a few deep breaths can do the trick.

18. If you and baby mama aren't on good terms, try your hardest to be a good dad BEFORE the court is involved. You might be able to work out an agreement on your own that doesn't involve your wages being garnished. Promise to contribute as much as you can and compromise on a schedule that benefits both of you. As a father, you should want to be involved in your child's life. A common schedule used in the court system is when the dad gets the child on Wednesday's and every other weekend. It doesn't seem like much, but work it out.

19. Again, if you and baby mama aren't together, don't be in her business all the time. Unless you have a concern for the well-being of your child, there isn't a reason to call and text her constantly asking where she's at or what she's doing, especially if its YOUR weekend to have the baby. You have separate lives, leave her alone to enjoy herself while the baby is away.

20. It's not cheesy to show your affection for your baby mama in public. Having a healthy relationship is something to be proud of, and holding hands or the occasional peck on the cheek not only shows others that she's yours, it makes her feel like she's wanted.

21. This does not mean that a make-out session is called for. INTIMACY is for the bedroom. Affection and intimacy are two very different things. Don't get them confused.

22. We understand that you're probably a mama's boy. However, you have your own baby now and there is no need for you to CONSTANTLY be up your mom's butt. Visiting the grandparents on occasion is just fine, but seeing as your teen parents, your own parents probably have other children and obligations. They don't need three other people in their house every other day.

23. As a teen parent, you need to get your own place. If you still live with your own parents, know now that it isn't going to last. Sure, you're happy living with your mom, but is your girlfriend? Living with your parents can be extremely stressful on your significant other, especially if they don't get along. (This is something I know well.)

24. You are NOT going to be able to afford a 500 dollar apartment, plus all of your utilities, PLUS anything else that you might want. (Cable, internet, etc.) You don't need a fancy apartment. As long as its CLEAN and you aren't completely surrounded with drug addicts? An apartment is an apartment and for the mean time, you'll have to deal.

25. Storage is your new best friend. Organizational mechanisms, totes, the whole shebang, they'll help you in the long run. Whether you're sorting the mail, separating out your toiletries, or storing your baby's toys, you need storage. Being able to put things away in a proper place is going to relieve stress for everyone and make clean up a breeze.

26. Don't let the only time you spend with your baby be the time that you're taking care of them. Outside from feeding, changing, and bathing, you need more time to bond with them. Go on walks, play with a few toys, but don't stop that bond from being built. Its much easier to develop it now than later.

27. WATCH YOUR DAMN MOUTH! No seriously. It's only a matter of time before you hear your little one say 'oh, sh**'. Don't let them learn this from you. Cut back on the language now so you don't have to change the habit later.

28. Your baby is going to break your stuff, its only a matter of time. If you want to postpone this from happening, pick up your stuff! If you have your favorite CDs sitting out on the edge of the couch, don't be surprised when they're pulled down and smacked together.

29. The bottom line is that it's no longer about you. Your every waking move NEEDS to be about that baby. If you think you had a crummy childhood, don't let your baby undergo the same thing.

30. Be an example to others. There is a fairly true stereotype that teen parents just aren't good parents. Half of the time, they dump their own kids on their parents and say 'haste la vista!' to parenthood. Under NO circumstances is this okay. If your man enough to lay down and make a baby, your man enough to raise one. I don't care if you're FOURTEEN years old, that baby is YOUR responsibility. Not your moms, not your dads, not your grandparents, YOURS. You and your baby's mom have a lot of work to do. If you don't want to be seen as a crummy parent, don't act like one.

31. This seems self explanatory, but our generation seems to be filled with idiots that have no idea what's good for them. Say no to drugs. It's an expensive habit that just isn't suited for family life. You want to teach your child to be somebody when they get older? You want to show them that they're capable of handling anything? Then don't show them examples of YOU depending on a substance to relieve YOUR frustrations!

32. "It's just pot." No. No its not. If you want to land a decent job and keep it? You'll probably have to pass a drug screening. I don't give a hoot if you don't do it often or if you don't think it changes you at all, is it really worth losing your income over? I didn't think so. The bottom line is that it makes it a heck of a lot more difficult to provide for your family if your spending a ton of money on marijuana or other drugs. On top of that, when you are FIRED for not passing a drug screening? That's on your record. Good luck finding another decent job after that.

33. As much as you might want to, your baby/toddler/child doesn't need a pet. Puppies are cute, yes. But they're expensive. Not quite as expensive as your baby, but expensive. Dog food, vaccinations, chew toys, grooming fees, spaying/neutering etc. Until you are financially stable, (this is going to take a very long time for teenagers) you don't need an animal of any kind.

34. Leave the shopping to baby mama. Baby clothes, diapers, anything baby, leave it to her. She probably knows more about what sizes your baby needs, and she'll most likely have a really great time doing it. At the same time, have a say in what's happening. BUDGETING is your key role, seeing as its often difficult for us mother's to control ourselves around THE cutest outfit we've ever seen.

35. When making a family budget, include EVERYTHING. Eating out, sodas you buy at the gas station, the socks you bought because you can't find a single matching pair, everything. Write down your big bills first and then designate a certain amount of money towards everything else each month.

36. Unless you're in college, you probably don't need internet. Having a baby really brings into perspective what your needs really are. As I AM a college student, I require internet for all of my classes. (I'm an online student). You probably don't need cable either. If you DO have internet and want to watch TV on occasion, sign up for Netflix and HULU. It's a heck of a lot cheaper than paying for cable and you can still catch up on some of your favorite shows. Cutting out cable will save you a lot of money in the long run.

37. Down grade your phone. Especially if you have internet at home, you don't need a phone with internet too. You can cut down your phone bill from 70 dollars to 45 dollars by downgrading to a track phone. Walmart smartphones WITH internet still only cost 45 dollars a month. Even on your cheapest phone plans, your still saving 5 dollars by going with a Walmart phone.

38. Your baby NEEDS to see your face. As important as it is to have a job, and a good one at that, don't work so much that you only see your baby on the weekends. Those few hours after work throughout the week will pay off in the long run. I read somewhere that a man that only sees his child two days a week (the weekend) might as well be a divorced man, seeing as they have the same schedule.

39. Nurture your relationships with both your baby and your girlfriend. Even if your baby didn't show up at the time you expected, or if you weren't planning on having children for a long time, you're still a father, and your baby still needs to be loved just as much now, than if they'd been born later in life. Your girlfriend needs some of that love too. The love and support you show your baby is guaranteed to make her fall in love with you even more, but make sure to set aside some of that extra love just for her. A happy mama is a happy family.

40. It is FAR better to let your baby mama feel like she's right than to argue about it. Chances are, her hormones are raging, she's an emotional wreck, and she needs to feel justified and RIGHT in just about everything she does right now. Pick your fights and be prepared to lose all of those. But don't see it as losing, let her have her way. It WILL benefit you in the long run.

41. Your baby saying 'dad' for the first time is going to blow you out of the water. You or baby mama should write these events down. They only say their first word once, so capture the day on film, or write it down in a baby book. But document it. Your baby will look back on those books and laugh.

42. Make good memories. Don't let the only memories you have of being a teenage parent be memories of stress. Go on mini-vacations during the summer, go fishing, camping, take your toddler to Chuck E Cheese for their birthday. You can do so many things for little to no money. Indulge in these things every once in a while.

43. Accept now that your plan in life has changed. Your professional skateboarding career probably isn't going to happen. You aren't going to be some famous rapper or DJ or anything else. Why? Because if they aren't happening now or in the near future, you aren't going to have the time to get them started. You won't have time because you'll be too busy Actually providing for your family. Participate in these things when you can, but don't expect to make a career out of them anymore.

44. Life isn't going to slow down. You only have so many times to stop and really appreciate things before the moment is gone. Appreciate every single moment you have with your baby, even if they are screaming their head off. You are. So. Unbelievably. Fortunate to have had the capability to create that child. And you probably have no idea of how unbelievably precious these moments are, and how easily they can be taken away.

45. Even as dads, you need to read and keep up with everything that is happening in your baby's life. Read warning labels, books about parenting, everything. Educate yourself about crib and sleep safety so you NEVER have to wake up to your baby, motionless and cold in their crib, or in your own bed. You can never know too much. And taking a few minutes out of your day to really LEARN about how to take care of your baby, could very easily save their life.

46. Being a first time parent at our age is terrifying. I've read book after book, article after article about every baby subject under the sun and I'm still scared. I've seen first hand the devastation of SIDS and I don't ever want to experience that. I thank my lucky stars every day when I wake up to a smiling baby in the crib. Be THANKFUL for every single second that you have with your baby. You don't ever get those minutes back.

47. One of the hardest decisions you will have to make before your baby is even born is whether you should stay or go. Some people are truly not meant to be parents. And in reality, even if you helped create that life, both you and the mother have the opportunity to walk away. I BEG of you, if you choose to walk away, make one hundred percent certain someone is there to step in. If you know that there is never going to be a relationship between you and the baby's mother, inform her of this. Push for adoption before all else. Please. Even dad's regret abortion, and even though it's a viable option, there are still consequences.

48. If you decide to stay, go all in. By you and your girlfriend keeping the baby, you're making it so a family that IS financially stable, and IS ready for a baby, isn't able to step in and be the parents that they're dying to be. You need to work your hardest to become financially stable. You want to be able to say someday that you are what's best for your baby.

49. As no-brainer as it is. Don't have any more kids. As a teen dad, you don't NEED anymore financial responsibility. You didn't want any responsibilities to begin with, so why add even more responsibilities onto the mountain high list you already have now? Babies are a blessing. They are wonderful and beautiful, a total godsend. But they are work. They are constant hours of crying, and stress, and anger. They give you so much love, but so many aspects of your life disappear because of a baby. If you can't control your urge to sleep with everything that moves, make sure that birth control is being used. Use a condom. BE SMART ABOUT SEX. You now know that babies aren't dropped from the sky by a huge stork with a blue hat. Now that you know that, take precautions so another bouncing baby isn't dropped into your lap.

50. My biggest piece of advice is to love unconditionally. If you want a long committed relationship with your girlfriend, show her that you are here to stay. And no matter what, love your baby. Be there for them and comfort them no matter how many times you wake up in the night. They won't appreciate it when they're older. They probably won't even recognize how hard it was for you as teen parents. When your kids are old enough, tell them what you've learned and tell them that as much as you love them, you don't want your child to have to go through what you did. Tell them to wait to have kids, to abstain from sex, to be smart when they do have sex, and that no matter what happens, you'll still always love them.

Now, go be a good dad.

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The Truth About Being A Teen Mom: 100 Misconceptions That No One Thinks About.

This blog is dedicated to all of the crap that's being spewed about how wonderful being a teen mom is. Below I've listed one hundred different things that A. No one realizes changes when you become a parent. B. Things that aren't okay to do when you're a parent and C. Things that might make it a little bit easier.

1. "We're going to be such a happy family." This is a lie. You and your spouse/significant other are going to hate each other for months at a time. You're going to resent the other for not running to the baby when its their turn and won't want anything to do with them until they do something right in your eyes aka get the baby to sleep and rub your feet.

2. "I can't wait to stay home with my baby all day and snuggle." This is another lie. Being a stay at home mom is dreadful. It's boring, overwhelming, and tiring. Your baby is the cutest thing in the world I'm sure, but as moms, we NEED time away from the house, whether it be at a part-time job or a small trip to town. Babysitters come in handy during these times.

3. "My mom will watch him for me." No she most certainly will not! You can't expect your own parents to parent your kids or watch them all of the time. Trust me, my James is almost seven months old and I haven't had a break for MONTHS. Our parents like their extra time just as much as we do and aren't going to be willing to give it up whenever you need them to. And even if they are, that baby is your responsibility, don't abuse the help.

4. Don't take your significant other for granted. If they've stuck with you through the pregnancy and hormones, they're truly giving some effort. I'm guilty of being grouchy on more than one occasion and need to learn myself not to take out my frustrations on Jesse.

5. You're not going to be able to get the entire house cleaned before your hubby gets home, especially in the first few months. Unless you're a superhero, this isn't going to happen. Be happy you get anything done at all.

6. Your in-laws are not suitable babysitters. They often feel obligated to watching your baby for free, and this is abusing a privilege, especially if you need a babysitter on a daily basis. Professionally trained babysitters approved by the state can be found for cheap. I'm talking 2 dollars an hour MAYBE. You can't get much better than a professional who took actual classes in order to become a certified infant caregiver. Don't pay extra for some high school cheerleader wanting to pay for her gas, phone bill, and extreme spending habits.

7. Remember, most of the people telling you that you're a crappy parent were crappy parents themselves. Don't listen to the advice of those that were horrible parents first, or haven't even had kids!

8. Your baby loves you, but they need their down time. That means put your baby down and walk away. If you've changed them, fed them, and cuddled them up, put them down. You do NOT want to haul around a twenty pound baby every minute of the day.

9. Don't ever let your baby sleep in your bed. This habit is EXTREMELY difficult to break. Like I said, your baby loves you and they love your cuddles just as much, but cuddles are for the couch, not your soft foam mattress.

10. If its difficult, you're doing it right. If its hard, you're not taking the easy way out, remember that.

11. Get used to stereotypes really quick. If your husband stays home, he's a lowlife, if you go get a job, you don't care about your kid. Does this sound ridiculous? I thought so too.

12. Yes, every last outfit in that store is cute. They're also twenty dollars a piece so you better get saving.

13. Babies are more expensive than you think. Not only are the hospital bills close to 30,000 dollars, a can of formula is nearly 20 dollars, a large box of diapers is nearly 50 dollars, and they grow out of clothes almost daily it seems. Not to mention health insurance or anything else...

14. No one WANTS to watch your baby. They say they do, but their giving up their own time in order to give you some time of your own. Cherish this and don't take it for granted. Everyone has a million other things they'd rather be doing instead of changing poopy diapers and wiping puke off of their clothes.

15. A dirty diaper is not just a dirty diaper. You think a baby boy peeing on you is the worst thing that can happen? Try having projectile poop coming right at you, splattering your entire front, and soaking you through two layers of clothes. Don't just change, you need a bath.

16. Want to know the easy way of doing things? Learn from your mistakes. Plan ahead for everything that you do and be prepared. This technique works for bath time, bed time, and any other time really. If you have everything together, you aren't holding a slippery baby while searching for a towel in the bathroom cupboard.

17. This may seem like a no-brainer, but don't leave your baby in the bathtub unattended! It doesn't matter if they're a week old or two YEARS old, preparing as I mentioned in 16 makes it so the thought of leaving your baby unattended doesn't even cross your mind in the first place.

18. Toys toys toys. If you're like me, you got buckets and buckets full of toys at your baby shower. In reality, THEY DON'T PLAY WITH THEM. Your baby is much more likely to play with a clean diaper or a plastic package of wipes than with a single one of the fifty stuffed animals they have. Had I known he would have had this many toys, I would have kept the receipts.

19. If your baby is in size 3 (3 months) Buy six and nine months clothing. Unless your baby only has two or three outfits in their current size, you should ALWAYS buy the next size up. Chances are they'll grow out of most of their clothes before they even get to wear any of them! James is turning seven months and he already has a HUGE box completely filled with clothes, and half of another, none of which fit him anymore.

20. Crying will not kill your baby. Don't run to the kitchen to make a bottle or to grab anything for that matter unless it's an absolute emergency. I've found that letting James cry helps him get to sleep better once he's gotten what he needs. It wears them out and then gives you a little time for yourself.

21. Schedule your 'me' time. Last minute plans are no longer apart of your daily curriculum. If you want a night out for yourself? Plan it weeks in advance, arrange a sitter, and then truly take that day for you. Turn off your cellphone and take that me time. Chances are you won't get it again for a while.

22. Bathe as often as you can. You think it'll be easy to take a bath every day like you used to? Good luck with that.

23. As a teen mom, OBVIOUSLY you have/had a love life. If you're continuing to have an intimate relationship with your significant other, realize that its going to be hard. Babies are exhausting and by seven o'clock of a night, you're going to be ready for bed. Dedicate at least a couple of times a month for some romance. It's much difficult to rekindle that flame when its completely out, than if you've been keeping it lit the whole relationship.

24. With that said, no means no. Even when you've been with your significant other for five years like I have, put your foot down if you're just too darn tired to do anything but flop down on your bed and fall asleep. Your boyfriend/spouse/fiance may have 'needs' but your sleep to recoup for the next day is  just as important.

25. NO MEANS NO. You'll often be telling your baby this, especially when they start crawling around. Distractions by moving your baby to a more appropriate area to play usually works, but accompanying a bad behavior with a serious NO, also helps when they start understanding you more.

26. Don't spank your baby =\. You really aren't going to teach them anything, especially if they can't even talk yet. Even swatting their hands is unnecessary at this point. As above, move them to a spot more appropriate for play and tell them NO.

27. You don't want your baby to touch your 300 dollar Prada bag? GET IT OFF THE FLOOR. The floor is your babies play ground, it's their domain. Much like a puppy, only have things they're allowed to touch on the floor.

28. Your diaper bag is your new purse. Unless of course you feel like carrying your purse, the diaper bag, a thirty pound car seat, plus any other things your needing at the time.

29. The mommy hook is your new best friend and can be bought for 6 dollars at your local walmart.

30. Baby proof baby proof baby proof! Yes, you need to baby proof. Do you need toilet locks and the whole shebang? No. (I'll explain that in 31) But electric outlet covers are a must have and baby gates for the stairs are also a good idea.

31. If you don't want your baby to get into certain areas of your house, CLOSE THE DOORS. Sure, not every room Has a door, but again, that's where distraction comes in handy. Your bathroom, bedroom, laundry rooms and the like usually have doors. Keep these closed and you won't have to buy a bunch of safety gadgets that you don't even know how to use.

32. What about the big rooms that don't have doors? Well, my kitchen and living room are connected by a very large opening, so large that the average baby gate won't fit. You can either buy an extra large baby gate, baby proof the entire kitchen, or simply move your baby into the other room and say NO as many times as it takes for them to find something else to do. Or put them in their play pen, that works too.

33. The 'natural' look is your new look. Byebye makeup, hello uneven skin tone and messy ponytail.

34. Sweats are also your new best friend. Stock up.

35. Don't separate with all of the baby clothes. While people like my mother keep EVERYTHING, don't be one of those people that gets rid of everything either. You never know if you're going to have another child so be prepared. Keeping a few outfits as well as the big stuff if you have the storage for it, (Crib, bouncy, swing etc.) is a good idea and will save you money in the long run.

36. Make a plan for how you want to raise your baby. Watch it fly out the window. Everyone has these ideas in their head about exactly how they want to raise their baby. Your idea of parenting and how it Actually happens tends to differ. Sure, you don't want your baby to be glued to the TV, not until you realize that you're able to get everything done during that hour and a half they're holding their bottle watching Doc McStuffins.

37. Embrace the baby talk. Because you aren't going to grow out of it any time soon. There's no such thing as diapers, wipes, and bottles. There are things called diapies, wipies, and babas however.

38. Binkies are bad news. Sometimes. Binkies can help babies learn how to soothe themselves, but at the same token, its difficult to get a baby to part with their pacifiers if they're reliant on them. Make this decision for yourself, but be prepared for the consequences for either decision.

39. Be prepared to buy the exact same toy multiple times. Just like cute little puppies, babies break things, they rip things and tear things up beyond repair. But that favorite doll who's head got squished under dad's recliner? It's head isn't going to get unsquished. As a favorite toy, it probably needs replaced.

40. If you like an outfit, buy it twice. Don't buy it in the exact same size of course. But if you can't get over those monster footie pajamas, buy them in two different sizes so they have a pair to grow into.

41. WAIT! If you love an outfit, you can wait for it. These exact same outfits go on sale when the new line comes out, waiting a few months could save you big. Carter's for example, has a new line that comes in every season. These new clothes are put on the wall and cost 30 dollars or more. The things on the rack? Those are from last season, go for those instead! And always shop clearance!

42. Your baby needs those cute little pants with the puppy on the butt. Of course they do. But if its clearly a winter outfit and its nearing the end of winter, calculate what size your baby is going to be in the following year, and possibly one size bigger. Chances are if its the end of the season, this outfit is also going to be on sale. So get it. Just get it much much bigger.

43. Your baby doesn't need fifteen pairs of shoes. Seriously. Does your baby walk yet? If not, one or two pairs will suffice.

44. Having trouble putting your baby to sleep at night? If your baby is a screamer, well, let them scream. That doesn't mean let them cry for hours at a time. Check on them every ten minutes or so by patting their back and trying to calm them. Do NOT pick your baby up, you're defeating your progress! If your baby just had a bottle before bed and was Just changed, chances are they just want to cuddle. But sometimes you can't always cuddle. Let your baby learn how to soothe themselves. It'll be better off in the long run.

45. Plastic water bottles will entertain your baby for hours. You don't even have to open it. Putting that in the fridge and then giving it to your baby to play with will entertain your baby for hours and soothe their gums if they're teething.

46. Teething is scary and tylenol is your friend. Call your doctor for the right dosage amounts for your baby.

47. Cylindrical toys are a wonderful training device. Your baby will make it a point to crawl in order to go after these things. The second they reach to grab it, your baby ends up pushing it away! This makes it an endless game for your baby. (That water bottle, HOURS of entertainment)

48. "Oh my gosh, my baby fell over and hit his head really hard!" Often times, no he didn't. A quick cuddle will fix it and most times, there isn't even a bump. James has fallen back on our linoleum kitchen floor more times than I can count and he's yet to get a bruise. Babies are made to be durable. Bonking his head doesn't call for an emergency room visit. If you're seriously worried, call your doctor and ask for a list of symptoms you should look out for.

49. Be thankful. If your baby is perfectly healthy, count your blessings. Your luckier than most as a teen mom.

50. Your bathroom time is no longer a private time. Get over it.

51. Your body is never going to look the same again. It doesn't matter if you lose all of the weight or not, your body has permanently undergone changes it will never come back from. Get used to this as well.

52. Your baby has many different cries, if you listen hard enough, you'll figure out what he needs based on which cry he's using. It sounds crazy, but its true.

53. You're going to cry sometimes too, and its not uncommon to cry just as much as your baby. Being a mom takes a toll on your self esteem, your stamina, and just about everything else. Accept this.

54. You're going to get more upset at their doctor's appointments than they are. Sure, they're going to scream their little head off when they get stuck with a needle four separate times in the same visit. But to me, they're important, and it's worth a few tears of my own for him to be healthy.

55. Read your toy safety guidelines! If that super cool toy you're wanting to get your six month old is for six YEAR olds? You better think again. There are reasons for the age limits. Small parts and certain fabrics are easy for babies to rip off and choke on.

56. Here's a big one. Christmas shopping. We already got our Christmas shopping done for the season. We spent 179 dollars on James's Christmas presents this year and he got a LOT. However, we bought a few toys that he can use now, and toys that will entertain him in the future. Referring to 55, we bought a few toys with an age limit of 1 year and up. He'll be a year old soon, and there's no point in buying a whole bunch of toys for now, that he'll outgrow later. (Sort of like clothes). So don't buy toooo far in advance, but to buy a toy for a few months down the road isn't a bad idea.

57. Referring to 56, don't pay for more than you can afford. Your baby is just that, a baby, they aren't even going to remember any of these toys! A few toys is just fine, but don't feel the need to go all out when in a years time, half of these things are going to get put into storage anyway.

58. As hard as it is, try to clean often. Your baby drools on everything, pukes on everything, and probably has pooped on the floor a couple of times. Sanitize these things! Even if you can't clean every last surface of your house, at least pick up small things off of the floor that baby can choke on, or put away things that could possibly hurt them (pop cans are a good example of this).

59. Apartment living is difficult. Be sure to check with your landlord before installing any baby gear. Your landlord might not want a bouncy seat that hangs from the ceiling, or a baby gate that has to be screwed into the walls. However, some of these things you really can't get around. Your baby's safety comes first and if you have to block off your kitchen, you have to block off your kitchen. Talk to your landlord, maybe you can come to terms.

60. TRY to get along with your babies grandparents (your parents and your in-laws). This can be HARD and sometimes there is no such thing as getting along. If worst comes to worst, be the bigger person and stop trying to build a relationship if its just getting worse. Some people are just downright dumb, mean, vulgar, rude etc. (You don't think I know anyone like that do you??) and there is no such thing as changing these kinds of people no matter how hard you try! Accept that they're jerks and orient your life away from theirs.

61. Don't be afraid to get help. At seven months old, James eats one can of formula every four days or so. That adds up to over 200 dollars a month! There are government programs to help young and single parents with these costs. Use them for as long as you need.

62. Here's probably one of the biggest tips I have. If you're going to use that government help, ONLY use it for as long as you need. Unless you're missing both legs, an arm, and half a brain you are PERFECTLY capable of getting off of your butt, getting a job, and supporting that baby. It takes awhile to get on your feet first, but abusing the system helps no one and gives the moms that use it how its supposed to be used a bad rap. If you don't want to be another one of those 'welfare moms' don't act like one! James has free health care (For another month) and we get checks from WIC to buy his formula. We had foodstamps for TWO MONTHS before I told DHS we no longer needed it and as I mentioned above, James will have Actual health insurance sometime next month. We are struggling. But that doesn't mean we're incapable. Get off your butt and make an example for your baby. Don't be a lazy teenager mooching off of your parents for the rest of your life.

63. With that said, don't live with your parents. Even as a teenager, you were grown-up enough to have sex, to have a baby, and now you're grown-up enough to act like a grown-up. It IS possible to live on your own. Believe me, you don't want to live with your parents or your in-laws. They will have that over your head for the rest of your life and you don't want that. TRUST ME.

64. Don't feel bad for accepting help when its offered. We all have those relatives that say "Just let me know if you need anything." You don't always have to take advantage of this, but sometimes, its totally okay to do so. This might be watching the baby while you go to the grocery store, letting you take a nap or clean the house, anything. But make sure to let them know that you appreciate their help. If you don't tell them you appreciated it, don't expect it to happen ever again.

65. Even if your baby can't talk yet, you should start cleaning up your language. Most teenagers cuss. They cuss a lot. Unless you want your baby running around at two years old with a sailor's mouth, you need to clean up your own mouth. Start this early, its a difficult habit to break.

66. For brand new moms wanting to know if they should breast feed or not. If you can do it, do it. Sure, it's extremely awkward to talk about and if your family is anything like mine, they'll pester you about what you're deciding for your entire pregnancy. Talking about it is awkward, doing it, isn't nearly as awkward as you'd think. It's one of the greatest ways to bond with your baby and it is so unbelievably healthy. Even if you just breastfeed for a month, give it a try. Formula is NOTHING in comparison to breast milk.

67. Breast pumps are expensive. Go to your local WIC clinic as see if there is anyway you could rent/borrow one. They'll give you a medical grade breast pump to keep for as long as you need. Keep it clean and it will serve you well.

68. Keep your supply going. Breast feeding can be painful, and breast pumping is even worse when you start to get sore. But this soreness will go away, and in the end it's worth it for you and your baby.

69. Breastfeeding is like liposuction through your breasts. You want to lose that baby weight in a matter of months? Breastfeed, the weight will fall off.

70. Enough with the breastfeeding tips, if you're using formula, monitor your baby and see if the formula you've chosen is really the best for your baby. We originally had James on Similac Advanced but he kept spitting up A LOT, so we switched him to Similac Spit Up. However, now he's constipated all the time and at his next doctor's appointment, we'll ask about switching it again.

71. If you want to get anywhere on time, write down the date and time of the event. Now, scratch out the time and write down a time one hour earlier than the actual time. Planning to get there one hour early is the ONLY way you will make it there on time.

72. Babies are notorious for needing changed, fed, and cuddled right before you walk out the door. Which is why you should plan an hour in advance.

73. No matter where you're going with your baby, always have at least 20 dollars on you. It's best to even keep this money hidden in your diaper bag. This money is NOT to buy another cute outfit. Unless of course he just crapped down his back and you forgot an extra outfit. This is emergency money, used for the formula, baby water, wipes, and diapers that you may have forgotten at home.

74. Sure, that 300 dollar outfit that your baby MUST have because Kim K's baby has it is cute. But that does NOT mean its worth that much money. If you want to make it in the mommy world, your number one rule is to never buy anything full price and if you have to have a cute outfit that looks just as glamorous? Put together your own gosh darn outfit with accessories and clothes you find at baby stores that aren't out to steal your money. (Not as much money anyway) There is no reason on this green earth that you should pay 300 dollars, or even FIFTY dollars for an outfit that your baby is going to grow out of in a matter of months anyway. This is a WASTE. Your baby needs to be clothed, that doesn't mean clothed in gold. Besides, gold is a choking hazard.

75. If you can't get over baby North's outfit. Design your own version. I'm sure you can find similar accessories and onesies for much less. And there's nothing wrong with being original!

76. Budget. BUDGET. No seriously, BUDGET!!!!! As teen parents, we want our babies to be cute just like anyone else, but be willing to sacrifice in other areas of your life in order to afford whatever you want to give to your baby. I mean, do you really need a laptop AND a phone with internet? Downgrade to a track phone. They only cost 45 dollars a month and that extra 55 dollars can go to your baby.

77. You don't pay your own bills? Grow the heck up. I bought my first phone myself, bought my first car, and pay for EVERYTHING. Phone bills, car insurance, gas, babysitters, groceries, etc. LIFE ISN'T FREE. You decided to create another life? You better learn how to balance all of these bills fast, your parents aren't going to pay them forever.

78. There are a few areas in your life you really shouldn't skimp on. If you travel often, you need a reliable car. Your baby needs to be in a safe car that works properly and isn't going to fall apart at any second. If you're looking into purchasing a new car, make ONE HUNDRED PERCENT SURE that it has air and heat. Those are two must haves for a baby.

79. Just like you shouldn't skimp out on some areas, skimp as much as you can on others. Best Choice cereal tastes no different than your name brand. Off brand foods (and clothes) are often made in the same factory! A good example of this is Buckle Jeans. These jeans are made in the exact same factory and the exact same way as jeans that are sold at VF stores. There is literally NO DIFFERENCE! So why spend fifty dollars on a pair of jeans that you could get for fifty percent less somewhere else? There's no reason.

80. As a mother, you no longer have vacations, sick days, or paid holidays. It doesn't matter if you're spewing out both ends, your job as a mother doesn't stop. I've had the same pounding headache for over a month now and what did my mom say when I called and BEGGED her to watch James? She laughed and hung up the phone.

81. The best thing you could do for your baby's future is go to college. Get your GED or High School diploma and then go to college. "I'll work and save up money first." No you won't. You'll flip burgers at McDonald's for the rest of your life with that attitude. Get off your butt and make something of yourself. For your baby's sake.

82. Your parents warned you that if you had sex, you'd get pregnant. Obviously they weren't lying. If you're going to continue to have sex get on some serious birth control and use multiple methods to stay safe. I'm fortunate. Jesse and I have been together for five years and know with one hundred percent certainty that we aren't going to give the other some STD because we're the only people we've ever slept with. If you're less traditional and have multiple partners, not only should you be on birth control, but wear condoms. Please. You don't want an STD and you DON'T want to tell the other five partners you've had in the past month that they might have crabs. Ew.

83. Don't TRY to get pregnant as a teenager. If you think it's wonderful you're f****** stupid. It's the hardest thing you will ever have to do in your entire life and it is NOT some stinking fairytale. You think that your baby's dad is going to stay with you just because your pregnant? Think again! A lot of girls want to get pregnant to trap their boyfriends. That's stupid. Be smart. If your boyfriend isn't into you move on. Don't trap them with a baby that they don't want to take care of. If they stay, they'll resent you forever. And if they leave, you're stuck with a baby that you can't support.

84. Babies don't fix relationships. They make everything that much more difficult. Jesse and I struggle on a daily basis to work on our own relationship and take care of James. Its HARD. We love each other, that's the only reason we've been able to stay together for so long.

85. Your parents are not going to be HAPPY that you got pregnant. They'll accept it and they will be wonderful grandparents (most of the time) but they aren't happy. No one wants their child to bring another child into the world before they're ready.

86. You're not ready to be a parent. It doesn't matter how many classes you take, how many books you read, you aren't ready. You can't afford a baby and you aren't even close to doing everything you wanted to do as a teenager. You still have a lot on your list. Be ready to give all of that up when you have a baby.

87. Babies don't make things impossible. Go to college, get your degree. It's hard, it's really hard. But its worth it. With that said, as I mentioned above, be ready to give up a lot of other things. No more partying hard on the weekends, no more drinking illegally at your besties house. Get that out of your head. It's mommy time.

88. If you are one of those teenagers that dumps your kid off at your parents house and goes out every weekend, or visits YOUR child at your parents house every few weeks, why the hell did you have that baby to begin with? Grow the hell up and be the parent that you DECIDED to be. YOU chose to have sex. YOU chose to keep that baby and now YOU are the one to raise that baby. You made your bed, lie in it. Only THE lowest scum of the earth doesn't take care of their children and forces them onto someone else. Don't be that person.

89. If you're pregnant and know in your heart you aren't ready to be a parent, you have two options. Yes, I said two. You can either have an abortion or give your baby up for adoption. I'm not pro-abortion. I'm pro-give that child the life that they deserve or don't make it suffer through all of the crap you'd make it endure. Make this decision BEFORE your baby is born and then stick to it. If in sound mind you KNEW that you weren't a suitable parent? Don't change that decision because your baby has your eyes and your cute little nose and now you think you can do it. Give that baby the life they deserve with a family that can truly take care of them. That sounds horrible, I know... but still.

90. If you keep your baby, you better step up and be the best mom you can be. If you aren't financially stable, you better work until you are. That baby deserves the best and you had the chance to give them the best the moment they were born. You had a chance to give that baby to a family that could pay all of the hospital bills out of pocket, to buy them a fancy car on their 16th birthday, give them everything their little heart desires. As a teen mom, you don't have those things, but you have to work your absolute hardest to make sure your baby gets everything that they need, because that's what they deserve.

91. At the same token, just because you can't give them everything, doesn't make you a crappy parent. Times are hard, money is tight, and life just sucks. But if you make your very best effort to provide for them, no one can ask much more of you than that. Keep in mind that there are far more people that could Actually take care of your baby. If you decide to keep him/her, you best make the biggest effort you ever have to turn yourself into the person that provides for your child more than anyone else can.

92. You are fully capable of being that mom your child deserves. You can develop the drive to do whatever it takes to provide for them. Find that drive and let it move you to do whatever is necessary for you to have a happy, healthy baby.

93. Your baby loves you, no matter what background you came from, or how he came to be. It doesn't matter if he came from a one night stand or a five year relationship, if you show that baby love, they'll love you right back.

94. There is nothing better than seeing your baby smile. That smile will wipe away nine months of misery and an entire year of heart aches. Keep that smile on your babies face for as long as you can, keep it in your heart always.

95. I was once told that if you hate your parents, they raised you right. No matter the reasons for your hatred, whether you hate why they grounded you, or truly hate them for whatever fault or dishonor they've committed, you learn something from this hatred. You figure out how you want to raise your own children, and things that you don't ever want to do. Use your own childhood as an example and either build upon it or start from scratch.

96. No matter how angry you get at your significant other, don't fight in front of your baby. Don't let that hostility enter your child's life. Your issues are your own, don't put them on your kids.

97. Take time to take in the good. Tell your significant other that you appreciate them and that you love having them in your life. You're thankful that they go to work everyday and that they provide for you and your baby. Never. Stop. Being. Thankful. And never stop saying it out loud.

98. No matter how hard things get, don't give up. As a teen mom, your facing obstacles that thirty year olds face and STILL have a hard time with. You're facing these obstacles without nearly as many tools. You don't have a career, you probably don't even have a job, and you have absolutely no idea what it's like being an adult yet. But still, keep trying.

99. Your parents aren't completely stupid most of the time. You made it out alive didn't you? If you have a close relationships with your parents, ask them for some advice (They'll give it to you whether you ask for it or not). Take this advice, use it, if it fits, keep doing it, if not, figure something else out. Some strategies work better than others, find which ones work for you.

100. Lastly, you will never in your life feel more love than you feel for your baby. It doesn't matter if you've been with your significant other for years and years, the love for your baby will be even stronger than the love for your boyfriend/fiance/husband. At the same token, whether you're with your babies father or not, there will always be that place in your heart where you're thankful for them, because they gave you your baby. If you're with the baby's father, the love you have for them will increase dramatically when you see them hold your baby for the first time, and even more as you see them growing into the role of 'daddy'. Always, always ALWAYS be thankful for all of the love that you receive, and be sure to send out even more into the world. Surround yourselves in love, surround your baby in love, good things are bound to happen.

PLEASE feel free to comment on this blog. This is the most serious blog I've written thus far and I feel it's an important issue. This NEEDS to be talked about. As a teen mom, I know I wasn't ready and it's important to make other teens aware that its tough work being a mom, let alone a teen mom! It's far too glamorized and that needs to be changed. Feel free to follow as well as we can continue this conversation.

New Baby Blog!

NO, I'm not pregnant. But my aunt is! Both of my aunts are! In fact, they're both so pregnant, that one of them is in labor now! So here soon, James is going to have other babies to play with, ALL of which are little boys =] It's safe to say that we're excited about all the babies!

Other than that, today has been pretty normal. James woke up around eight o'clock after sleeping REALLY well last night. James has been sleeping in our bed a lot =\, and Jesse and I are starting to get really grumpy about it. Not only does our 18 pound baby sleep between us at night, he punches us in the face, scratches us, pulls our hair, and wiggles around so much that by the end of the night, we're basically falling off of the bed because James is taking up so much room.

Last night was the last straw. It was ten o'clock and after a really long day, we both had had enough. James was wound for sound and instead of rocking him and trying to get him to calm down, we put him in his crib, went into the living room, and let him cry it out. We felt horrible about it. But we truly are just DONE with not having our bed to ourselves.

We've attempted before to get him to sleep in his crib and on those attempts, he screamed his head off for two hours before finally falling asleep. Of course, before we put him to bed, we changed him, bed him, gave him lots of love and left it at that. But nothing worked. We'd go in and comfort him every fifteen minutes or so, patting his back and such, but he'd still scream.

We expected last night to be the same and in truth, it started out the same. About eight minutes in I looked online for ways to get a six month old to go to sleep. After researching I found that white noise makers (which I found on youtube) can really help. So we put my laptop in the bedroom with the white noise going and after twenty minutes, he fell asleep! Jesse and I were ACTUALLY able to sleep in our own bed by ourselves! It was nice being able to curl up with my handsome man and admire our baby from afar (across the room that is). But it was great. So James slept from about ten thirty to four, which is really good for him! Hopefully if we keep it up and get him on a routine, he'll sleep even longer.

So no pictures on this one! This weekend I'm taking more Christmas pictures for a friend here in town, and I'll be sure to post some of those!

As always, feel free to follow my adventures with James at amazingjames.blogspot.com and to comment about whatever your little heart desires.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

James and I are just relaxing today. We have the house to ourselves, I just finished doing dishes, and he just woke up from a nap. Here's a few pictures I just took, didn't do too much editing. See? I told you he was photogenic!

Also! Follow us at amazingjames.blogspot.com. Feel free to leave your comments, critiques, and any other feedback, we'd love to hear from any viewers!

Yummy Yummy Num Num!

Today James tried more baby food. I'm pretty sure we tried Squash and though he didn't seem too enthused as first, he did a pretty good job! Usually, he's not nearly as messy, but seeing as his dad was feeding him, it got pretty bad. Below are some of the pictures I took during the whole fiasco. He had a lot of fun AAAND he didn't get the camera dirty. It's a win win! As always, feel free to leave comments and critiques and follow us at amazingjames.blogspot.com! He's so photogenic =]

Practice Makes Me Grumpy

So, practicing with the new camera again! And now that James is crawling all over the place, practicing AND trying to get good pictures is pretty tough. James isn't what's frustrating me though. I'm proud that he can crawl so well now! But the camera? Yeah. That's making me pretty grumpy. I just don't know how to work it yet and I knooow it takes time, but still. The shutter speed can be adjusted, but then the pictures aren't clear. And the flash is either OH MY GOD or Where did they go??? So its frustrating. But below are some pictures I took tonight of James messing around on the floor. Some of them are pretty cute as they are, while others could use some work.  Critiques are always welcome and feel free to follow me and my adventures with baby James!

Christmas Photo Shoot Take 2!

So this time, I practiced on children other than my own. And it was really hard! My cousin brought her two children over and they're wonderful. But it was a big reality check on how different it is to handle other people's children. We don't see each other often, so they really weren't interested in paying attention to me, and thought me weird more than funny whenever I tried to make funny faces at them. For this, feedback would be great. I'd really like to know how to deal with younger children especially. I took several shots, and I'm already starting to dislike my camera =\. I get that I still have to figure out how to work it, but it drove me nuts today when I wasn't able to take shot after shot after shot, and that the flash didn't always work when I wanted it to. So I got sort of frustrated part of the way through the shoot. That, and editing was not my friend this time. Baby P, (the little girl in the following photos) is pretty mobile now and didn't want to stay still for the life of her, and since she'd just eaten before the shoot, she'd spit up a little halfway through and it seemed that the only pictures that would work really great, were the ones where she had baby food dribbling from her lip. HOW DO I EDIT THIS OUT? GAH!!!!

Anyway, here are some of the best shots. Her older son, who we will call Child C wouldn't stop 'fake smiling' as my grandma called it, and I really didn't know how to coax him out of his shell. If any readers have any suggestions on how to do this? Be my guest.

Also, I posted several different versions of a couple of the photos because I wasn't quite sure what kind of editing would be best. In some of the photos, Baby P's face looks a little orange, and I'm not sure how to make her face seem a little bit smoother. So again, help would be much appreciated!

Feel free to follow my blog and put in your input at any time. Good night from my cozy little family to yours =]

Christmas Photoshoot Take One!

Well, I'm experimenting with the Christmas Shoot that I'm doing! I have quite the group of people now wanting me to take their children's christmas pictures, so I've been working on the set, and testing out what works the best. These pictures were taken at five o'clock and my apartment has HORRIBLE lighting. So I know that the lighting definitely needs to be improved. But other than that, I think it's pretty cute! James is tested it out for me and when he wasn't eating the fake snow, I think he enjoyed it!

I spent around fifty dollars for everything in the shoot. With fifty dollars I got...
1. A fifteen dollar 3 ft Christmas Tree
2. A tub of ornaments for around 5 dollars.
3. A tree ribbon for 3 dollars.
4. Tissue paper and assorted Christmas bags for around 10 dollars total.
5. Two decorative Christmas boxes for 4 dollars each.
6. Fake snow for 5 dollars a bag.
7. A twin sized flat sheet to put on the floor under the snow for (not sure how much)

I bought all of these things at walmart and the cool part? We're going to reuse all of these things outside of the photoshoot! So being able to reuse them definitely made me feel better about spending the money.

Also! Please feel free to follow me and my adventures at www.amazingjames.blogspot.com

Thanks!