Valentines Day Photo Blog!

Alright. So I'm taking the time in this blog to talk about what is, and what is not, appropriate when taking photos of your child, especially photos that you plan on posting on the world wide web. Seeing as the list of Don'ts is much longer that the list of Do's, we'll start with the Don'ts first.

ABSOLUTELY NOTS:
1. A full frontal view of a naked child. This, is considered child pornography. Don't do this.
2. Your child peeing. This is also inappropriate. If you listen closely on movies (The Help is a good example) Whenever a child is going to the bathroom, even a little girl, the noise is often cut out. If a boy is going to the bathroom, the photo is either from the back, or chest up.
3. Bathtub shots. Again, if you can see their private areas, these aren't pictures to post online.
4. Your child in 'risqué' or risky positions. When I say risqué, I mean, people are going to look at it and question why exactly a baby or toddler is in such a provocative position. When I say risky, it's when people may look at this photo and question your parenting methods. For example, if your child is smiling away in a photo, but right behind him the oven door is wide open, that might be questionable. Other questionable photo ops may be in a very dirty room. Dirty can be dangerous. Pick up the floor.
5. And for the sake of people not turning you in for child abuse, don't post pictures of your baby right after they ran headlong into a door, or fell down and bloodied their lip.
6. Anything within the photo that could possibly give away your location needs to be removed. T-shirts that have the local football team on it, city limit signs, park signs that give an exactly location, don't put them in the shot! These are DEAD giveaways as to where you are and maybe I'm paranoid, but I really don't want the local child molester joining James and I on our days out.

Let me make clear now, that these are NOT photos for the INTERNET. A lot of people take pictures constantly, much like myself. That's not to say these pictures can't be put into the photo album for family and close relatives to view, but again, anyone can see any photo you post on the internet and there are too many weirdos in the world that would be happy to creep on that innocent bathtub photo.

Do It!
1. Butt shots. Not full on, JUST THE BUTT pictures. But if your baby just ran away from getting his or her diaper on and their little tooshie just needs to be photographed, knock yourself out! As long as the manly spot isn't showing, there really isn't too much to worry about. That, and if you think the picture is cute how it is and you want to share it but don't want to show too much? Print the original and crop to post it on the internet!
2.There's really only one other thing to say about this. If your child is fully clothed and doesn't look like they're in a dangerous/risky situation, go ahead and take the picture and post it!

Alright, so now that the BASIC rules are out of the way, here are some pictures I took of James for our Valentines day Cards! Right now Shutterfly has a deal great deal! You get 10 rounded edge cards for FREE, all you pay is shipping! I saved 26 dollars and only had to pay 6 for shipping! Below, I've posted the pictures I took of James, as well as the finished card. Below each photo I'll post why it's appropriate enough to be on this blog.

 This first one is adorable! This one is appropriate because it's chest up. You're not seeing anything provocative and the background isn't dangerous, nor is it showing anything that could give away where we're at.

 Same thing on this one! You see a liiiiittle bit more of the chest, but nothing that's provocative at this age.

 This one shows a little bit more skin and is probably the most exposed your baby should be. You can see his little legs and maybe even the top of his bottom, but other than that, you really don't see much. Also, he just got out of the bath, which is why the towel is present!

 Whata dork! Again, this is a chest up angle and is pretty safe!

And here is the finished product! It's totally adorable and so much fun! Not to mention FREE.

For more photo tips and to throw in your own opinion feel free to comment and follow us at amazingjames.blogspot.com!

The Birth Control Blog

Alright, so being a teen parent and knowing without a doubt that I am NOT ready for another child, I'm obviously on birth control. In fact, most hospitals recommend you get on some form of birth control a day or two after having a baby. Why? Because as teen parents, we aren't well equipped to take care of one child, let alone two!

So, what are the advantages of birth control?

1. Baby. Prevention. Obviously.
2. Some forms of birth control can help with acne. An extra bonus!
3. If ever you have a 'slip up' and forget to use a physical barrier as protection (condoms) you'll be medically covered!
4. Being on birth control takes most of the guess work out of everything. Schedule an appointment, go to the appointments, and you're good to go!


There are a billion different kinds of birth control, some that work better than others. One of the forms that I REALLY don't think anyone should be on, especially teenagers, is the pill. If your family was anything like mine when I was young, my parents always told us to remember to take our vitamin before school. Did we EVER remember? No. Never. And back when I was that young, my biggest priority was making it to the sandbox before anyone else and making sure my mom packed the right sandwich. As a teenager, I had a billion and a half more commitments and obligations that constantly whirled around in my head so taking a pill would have been the least of my worries. Sure, I've never been on the pill, I've always preferred the Depo Shot (We'll talk about that later) but after seeing so many of my friends take the pill, I'm pretty much terrified of it. Firstly, they all forget to take it sometimes, whether it be once or three times in a row. And what did most of them do upon forgetting to take it???? The next day they'd double the dose!!!!!! SERIOUSLY????!!!! That's called overdosing folks, and it doesn't work. So, after seeing how teens easily abuse it, I've found that it's probably not the best thing to supply to a teenager who you don't want to get pregnant.

However, I'm a fan of the Depo shot. It's a three month birth control and for the most part, it's pretty effective! However, it's essential that you go the exact day that your next appointment is scheduled. If you're late on the shot, then you're vulnerable to become pregnant. So it's best that if you ARE late, you be cautious and use an additional form of birth control for a month or so to be safe.

These days there are more advanced methods such as the IUD and the Nexplanon. Each have their positives and negatives. The IUD can be used for up to ten years depending on which one you get and apart from being a bit invasive when it comes to getting it inserted, it's pretty effective. On occasion, the IUD's DO slip, and may cause pain. If you do experience extreme pain in your pelvic region, it would be best to call your doctor.

The Nexplanon is another thing entirely. It had the exact same chemicals that are in the shot (so if you weren't a fan of the Depo Shot, it wouldn't be a good idea to get the Nexplanon) but it's released for 3 years from a tiny little bar that they insert into your arm. I recently got this form of birth control and to be honest, it hurts horribly. This is the third day that I've had it and though my arm is still really bruised, the pain has gone down quite a bit as compared to yesterday and the day before. In order to insert the Nexplanon, your doctor will make a tiny incision in your arm (less than a centimeter) and will then inject a numbing solution, and then the Nexplanon bar that has a watery solution of some kind to make the insertion easier. Then they wrap up your arm and suggest you leave it wrapped for at least 24 hours to keep the swelling down. Your arm WILL be bruised and will swell quite a bit regardless. My doctor told me not to do much heavy lifting to avoid irritating the muscles in my arm, but seeing as I had to carry James as well as his diaper bag and my purse (probably should've left the purse at home) up three flights of stairs by myself, I really wasn't able to get around the whole heavy lifting thing. When we reached the apartment, I sat James down, got him out of his carseat and then tried not to die. When I took off my coat, I saw that the gauze had rolled into a coil and was digging into my incision. YOUCH! So I unwrapped the gauze before I was supposed to because it hurt like crazy. So in short, the Nexplanon isn't that painful to have inserted, but is really sore for a few days after so take plenty of time to rest and heal so you don't irritate your arm. However, I think a little bit of pain for a few days is worth the 3 years of coverage.

And then of course the one form of birth control that no one thinks of, ABSTINENCE! It's really the only FULL PROOF method of birth control that works every time. If you don't have sex, you don't get pregnant (obviously) and that's the only way to make sure that a baby isn't going to bless your womb any time soon.

On another note, I think that a lot of people think that abstinence is for single people. That's really not the case. Abstaining from sex is a choice even people in a relationship can make believe it or not and even happens between people that are MARRIED! Who'dathunk right? Not to throw out my personal business or anything, but after having James, he's made it pretty easy to not even think about intimacy. A screaming, crying, teething baby in his crib across the room is a really great way to stay away from 'the mood'. Sure, Jesse may be bummed out and in need of some lovin on occasion, but that doesn't stop him from falling asleep the moment his head hits the pillow.

So, this was an awkward blog right? Sure it was! But it could be worse. Wouldn't you rather read this blog and know everything about birth control than get pregnant? Maybe not everything... but still.

Why You Should Never Get A Ticket. Ever.

Alright. So I'm not perfect. No one is. And within the past year I unknowingly did something pretty bad. How can I do something without knowing it? Pretty easily according to some.

Anyway, I didn't have a babysitter for James set up and had to work at 8 that morning. So I drove James about thirty minutes away to my grandmother's house so my aunt could watch him there. On my way to work, it was roughly seven, seven thirty in the morning and I was driving through a town where it's speed limit was ten miles an hour. At this hour of day, the sun is pretty blinding. I was driving towards the sun, didn't have my sunglasses (that's my luck) and instead continued to drive ten miles an hour through this town while squinting like crazy so I didn't go blind. While driving, I could tell there was a large vehicle driving by me on the other side of the road. I didn't really think much of it seeing as plows, dump trucks, and busses drive past fairly often. I got to work just fine, no harm done! It doesn't seem to bad yet right?

Well, a few days after this incident my mom called me telling me that the cops were looking for me. WHAT?!?!?! WHY!?!?!?! She told me that they were telling her that I passed a stopped school bus. I almost laughed. What do you mean? I didn't even SEE a school bus, nor did I drive around one. Apparently that vehicle on the other side of the road driving towards me was a stopped school bus. She asked me if I saw any flashing lights. NO I DIDNT SEE ANY FLASHING LIGHTS THE SUN WAS BLINDING ME! All I COULD see was the side of the road, beneath the trees where there was shade. I'm assuming this is where the children would stand to get on the bus and I KNEW there hadn't been any children standing there.

Seeing as there's no such thing as winning a case against the oh-so-powerful town of Burg, I didn't fight it. I plead guilty, simply to avoid having to go to court again and miss work, on top of having to find another babysitter for James. So I just said 'okay, I'll pay the ticket. How much?'

FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS?!?!?! SERIOUSLY??? Seeing as the judge originally told me sixty dollars, I would've been fine with that one. But illegally passing a school bus has become a serious offense, and for good reason. Had I seen the school bus was stopped, had I seen a sign, anything, I would have stopped, I don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to James and I'm truly sorry to any of the parents that have lost their loved once due to the negligence of drivers that are in too much of a hurry to stop for no more than a minute to allow children to get on and off of busses. I'm not upset at the law. I'm upset at the system. I'm outraged that me, who maintained a 3.6 average in high school an a 3.2 average in college, who always tries to do the right thing even when it's dumb, who is TRULY not a criminal, is being charged 500 dollars, getting my license taken away, has to be on probation for a year, and has to have special insurance for 2 years, because of my very first ever traffic violation EVER.

On top of that, the courthouse where this all occurred lost all of the documents they needed to give me the stinking ticket! They lost their copy, lost the judge's order, EVERYTHING. And what did I do? I was the good samaritan owning up to what happened and saying "hey, here are my copies, I'll pay the ticket even though you guys don't have the documents to even keep me here." HOW STUPID WAS THAT?!?!?! I can't BELIEVE I even did that now!

Anyway, for those of you that don't know. When you get a ticket or a serious violation like an OWI, DUI, or any of that fun stuff, (as well as serious traffic violations) Not only is your license taken away for a good chunk of time, you also have to have sr-22, high risk insurance. This is EXPENSIVE. And on top of car payments, my current insurance payments, health care, AND a baby? I can't afford it.

The kicker is, I wasn't even told at my hearing that I'd have this crazy insurance, or have to be on probation. Why wasn't I told? Because the DOT is in charge of it and that isn't related to the court system. If THAT'S the case? The DOT should be required to sit in on ALL traffic hearings and tell the person who received the ticket what kinds of repercussions come along OTHER than the criminal punishments. I'm sorry, but it's absolutely bogus that I didn't even know about this until Yesterday, and only had until TODAY to appeal the decision. AGAIN, The government needs to get their shit together! Excuse my language, but seriously. It's stressful enough to know that your license may be taken away, but to be told that you'll have to pay hundreds and hundreds of dollars for the next two years on top of everything else? Well that's just crap. Oh, and just to punch you a liiiiittle bit harder, there's a 50 dollar fee to get your license reinstated. Whatever court system, just whatever.

My point of this blog was not just to rant, but to inform people that the court system is really cracking down on some of these traffic laws. A few years ago, passing a stopped school bus wasn't a big deal. But because of how many children that have been killed, the punishment has been increased dramatically. Even since MY ticket, a few months ago, the minimum ticket costs has risen to 700 dollars. And that's just been in the past few months! Drive safe, and if you question what's going on, just stop, even if you feel dumb about it. I really wish I'd just stopped when I couldn't see the vehicle, that way I wouldn't be going through what I am now. I get it's a pain to deal with for me, but I do know that there is reason. I can earn back the money I spend on all of these expenses. Had I hit a child, thank god I didn't, there's nothing I could do, no amount of money I could spend, to get that life back for that family.

So yeah, my rant is over for today. Sorry I haven't posted pictures in a while! I'll try to get on it in the next few days.

Tips For Planning A Baby Shower!

Alright! So you're pregnant! Or maybe thinking about getting pregnant with the person that you've been married to for five years because you wouldn't dare think about getting pregnant as a teenager, right? Anyway, it's your first beautiful baby and it's time to celebrate! A baby shower, the most common method for celebration, is supposed to be fun, but that's not to say it can't be stressful for those involved. So below are ten tips to planning a baby shower so that the party, as well as your life afterwards with baby and all the cool stuff you received, is as pain free as possible.

1. Sure, you can have a baby shower before or after the baby is born. However, I suggest that you have the baby shower before the baby arrives, so you have an idea of what you need to buy before the baby arrives. For example, a lot of my family members pitched in to buy the essentials: A crib, carseat, pack'n'play, bath, and a lot of other things. Seeing as I didn't know about a lot of these gifts, it would have been strange to say "Oh! I bought that car seat a few months ago! Thanks anyway, Grandma!"

2. With that said, write down all of the gifts that you receive, as well as how many of each you receive (diapers, wipes, different sizes of outfits) so that you know what exactly you need to buy. If you only received one or two newborn outfits, you might want to buy a few more. And if you only got a 20 pack of newborn diapers, you best go get more!

3. This is a big one. Invite everyone that you know. Literally. I invited over 100 people to my baby shower and a VAST majority of them showed up! Not only was it great to see people I hadn't seen in a really long time, James also got a TON of stuff. As horrible as it sounds, the more stuff you get at your baby shower, the less you have to buy. If I remember correctly, Jesse and I had received 7 boxes of diapers, 30 packages of wipes, and a BILLION outfits. Sure, he's outgrown most of the outfits, and we've had to buy diapers and wipes since the shower, but we were pretty much set for the first two months of James's life.

4. Send out invites and have people RSVP at least a month and a half before the day of the shower. A month and a half will allow people to have enough heads up to plan on attending, or to figure out if they have a previous engagement elsewhere. With these RSVP's you can plan on how much food needs to be prepared (if you're feeding everyone) and how much space you need, so that you know if you're house will work, or if you need to rent a space in your community for the event.

5. Don't feel pressured to have a million games at the event. Games are stressful, especially if your baby shower has 50 or more people, and most of the time, people are content mingling with others. If your event is relatively small, a few games may be alright. But if your event is pretty big, try to have games that don't require every single person to pay attention at once. For my baby shower, I bought two big baby bottles, a few bags of M&Ms, and a couple of bags of candy bars. I counted all of the M&Ms and put them in one bottle, writing down the number on a piece of paper and keeping it to myself. Then I counted all of the candy bars and did the same thing, writing down the number as well. At the baby shower, people were free to cast their guess as to how many candies were in each bottle, and towards the end of the party my family members looked through the guesses to find who was closest to the amount, and the two winners were able to keep whichever bottle that they had guessed correctly! This was inexpensive, stress free, but was still fun for the party goers.

6. Plan the event at least two months before your due date. This will give you plenty of time to go shopping for what you still need, even if you may go into labor a couple of weeks early. I had my baby shower March 10th (try to choose a day during the weekend) and James was born in early May. We were also able to exchange items before James got here. For example, as I neared my due date and had more and more sonogram appointments, I knew that James wasn't going to be premature. My grandma had accidentally bought me premie clothes, so I took them back and exchanged them for a different size! Also, if you have an idea of what kind of diapers you want to use (Jesse and I love Pampers) you can exchange the brands that you don't want, for the brands that you do want.

7. Wash all the clothes and assemble everything before the baby arrives. Now is for the hard part. Sometimes, babies have really sensitive skin, and clothes sometimes have chemicals on them in order to keep them in good shape on the racks. Dreft, a baby laundry detergent, is a great detergent to use in order to avoid your newborn breaking out or developing rashes. Along with washing everything, start assembling everything a few weeks before the baby arrives. The crib, the rocking chair, the car seat, large toys. A swing and bouncy are essentials to a newborn's happiness, and are also essential to you being able to put the baby down when you're busy. Assembling these in advance will let you relax your first few days home with the baby.

8. At your party, try to mingle as much as possible and say hello to everyone who comes. They took time out of their day, and money out of their pockets to be there, the very least you could do is say hello. I get it, it's hard to catch everyone, but make your best effort. I had seventy people at my baby shower and though the hello's were short, I still thought it important to say hello, thanks for coming, and goodbye, to each and every person.

9. A lot of people feel like a baby shower is JUST for women. Why is that? Jesse attended the event, obviously, and invited a few of his friends. I also found it really important that my stepdad and grandpa were there, seeing as they're both important figures in my life. So don't limit yourself to just women at the baby shower, let your boyfriend/significant other invite who he wants, as well as any men that you may want to invite. If your boyfriend has people there he can talk to, he's not going to feel nearly as awkward than if it were just him in a room of 70 women with him being the only man.

10. This last one isn't really a tip, but more like an idea. Before my baby shower, I hadn't told anyone what Jesse and I were planning to name the baby. We hadn't told a soul. So the day before the shower, I went to dollar general and bought a large piece of tag board (it will only cost a dollar or two) and then I went home and painted "James Hollis" on funky letters, and even drew a little monster on it, seeing as that was the theme of the shower. I then wrapped it up and wrote my mother and Jesse's mom's names on it. When all of our presents were unwrapped, Jesse and I announced that we had one more gift. We called up the moms to stand in front of everyone. My mom was suspicious and started tearing up before they even started opening it. My sister's, who sat next to Jesse and I while we'd opened our presents, started crying as well when my mom and Amy (Jesse's mother) announced "It's the baby's name" and turned it around for everyone to see. The room was filled with oooh's and awww's and my mom, sister's, and just about every other female in the room, including myself, began to cry. It was an emotional moment for us, and seeing as my hormones were out of whack, I cried, in front of an entire room of people, like I had never done before. It was emotional and I think all of us felt that with the baby name revealed, it was just that much more real that he'd be joining us soon.

Will Post Pictures As Soon as I can of my Own Baby Shower!

Children's Safety Blog

This blog is one I'm choosing to write after being inspired by a tragic story. Yesterday, I opened my laptop attempting to wake up with a few games of Candy Crush before really getting on with my day. I flipped through my social networking sites, messaged back a few friends, checked to see if there was anything funny on Pinterest, and then stumbled upon an article about a woman grieving. Kim and her baby girl Meggie, were the victims of tragedy when Meggie's dresser, one of the only pieces of furniture in the entire home that wasn't secured, fell on top of her while she was playing in her room. Seeing as the entire household has slept in, it wasn't until her father had walked into her room and checked on her, and yelled for Kim, did the family realize that their precious loved one was dead. This blog hit me... I teared up as I watched James playing on the floor in front of me in the living room. I was so touched, that I scooped James up into my lap before continuing to read the blog. The main message, I thought, was that it takes five dollars and just a minute of your time in order to save your children's lives. And that's what this blog is about. I'm going to give a few of the main children's safety tips so you can start proofing your home today so not one more child is harmed, or killed, in the 'safety' of their own home.

To read Kim and Meggie's story for yourself, click the following link. Have the Kleenex ready!

http://lovelightlaughterandchocolate.blogspot.com/2012/12/be-with-me-just-for-today.html

1. The book case, the flat screen TV, computer monitor, the dresser, the DVD shelf, all of these things need to be secured to the wall or onto the things that they sit! Industrial velcro, furniture straps, there are a ton of ways to proof these things for cheap and it only takes a few minutes to do. Another tip is to not put anything that your child is going to reach for, on top of anything that can topple over. Put your children's things in the lowest drawer of the computer desk, as close to the floor as you possibly can so they aren't tempted to crawl up onto things!

2. The kitchen is a dangerous place. When cooking on the stove make sure to turn all handled inward to prevent your children from grabbing the pot handle and pulling it down on top of themselves. In all, it would be best to keep your children out of the kitchen entirely. For instance, the second I open the fridge, James comes running. If he did the same thing with the oven? We'd be in a lot of trouble! Keep them occupied in the other room with a movie, activity, or toys, to keep them entertained while you're in the kitchen.

3. One of the simplest things you could possibly do is to childproof electric sockets. At the VERY least, go to Walmart, buy a three dollar package of socket plugs, and put them into each socket you come across. Electrocution is dangerous (trust me) and it HURTS. Something so simple and inexpensive as a socket cover is worth it to keep your child safe.

4. You don't need a baby gate in every room. If the rooms have doors, CLOSE THEM! However, you DO need a baby gate at the top and bottom of any stairs you may have in the house. If you don't like hopping over these, yet you think it's a pain to take them down and put them up again each time you walk up and down the stairs, invest in a mounted gate! Press the latch, open the gate, and close it behind you! That makes taking laundry downstairs much easier.

5. Teen parents especially are guilty of leaving EVERYTHING plugged in. Hair dryers, straighteners, cellphone and laptop chargers, you name it, we forget about it. WELL STOP IT! James is completely capable of pulling my chargers out of the wall, so I've learned to wrap them up when my devices are charged, put them away, and put an outlet cover in it's place. A curious baby is a happy baby and the last thing you want is for your curious baby to get zapped, burned, or seriously hurt because of a straightener or uncovered outlet.

6. We just moved into a new apartment relatively recently and I've just recently noticed that our fire alarm doesn't have working batteries! You'd think that the landlords would have checked them before we moved in, but apparently not! So while you should have a smoking smoke alarm (we're getting batteries ASAP) also think about investing in a carbon monoxide, and even a radon monitor!

7. Keep your chemicals up high and out of reach! Febreze, toilet bowl cleaner, Pledge, bleach, ALL OF IT, either lock up your cabinets or MOVE IT! Seeing as our landlord won't allow us to install cabinet locks, we moved all of our chemicals into a storage area at the top of a closet we have in our kitchen. Seeing as I have to stand on my toes to reach it, I know James won't be able to reach in in a long time. If your child Does ingest chemicals call poison control immediately!

8. Here's a tip I didn't even think of for quite some time. When I get home, I put my purse down either on the table or on the couch and it usually stays where I put it until I leave again. In my purse, I have my wallet, a billion coupons, some loose change, and Advil. Much like chemicals, all medicines need to be put far out of a child's reach! James has pretty easy access to my purse, and god forbid I didn't screw the lid back on correctly! Keep your purse zipped up and out of reach to help your child avoid choking on a penny, or getting into a medicine bottle.

9. Pop cans. It doesn't seem too harmful does it? Imagine what would happen if you stuck your finger inside an aluminum pop can. Now imagine if you grabbed it with force, much like a child might. Getting cut my aluminum is not fun (I had many an art project go awry when I was working with aluminum) and with such tiny fingers, your little one may lose a digit if you don't pick up all of the pop cans around the house and put them in the recycling! It takes two seconds to pick up a pop can and is much better than an emergency room visit because your little one won't stop bleeding after they ripped it off of the end table and started banging it around.

10. My last tip today is simple. Use common sense. Get down on your knees, which would be eye level with a child, and look around! Are there electrical cords peaking out from behind the TV? Are the cords to the window blinds dangling to the floor? Did daddy forget a pop can in the living room? All of these things would only take a moment to fix, but would keep your child from being harmed. Tuck away all electrical cords out of sight, tie up or cut off window blind cords, and keep anything sharp or small enough to choke on out of reach of children.

5 Things I Wish People Knew About Actually Having A Baby

There are so many people that are under the impression that they're going to have a baby, the baby is going to love them, and all is going to be well. They think that they're going to get married and live happily ever after, mommy, daddy, and baby. I think if people were to get that misconception out of their heads and prepare themselves for REALITY instead of some warped fantasy that they've created in their minds, everyone would be much better off. This is what this blog is going to do. I'm going to give you five harsh, but extremely true realities that most people aren't prepared to hear.

1. As much as people don't want to believe it, your baby doesn't instantly adore you, nor does it show it's affection like you'd hoped it would. Most people want to think that the moment you hold your baby they immediately show you undying affection, and that's really not the case. Granted, in the first few hours, a great bond is forged, that doesn't mean that you'll have this wonderful perfect connection from that moment forward. When James was born, I was honestly terrified. I loved him, of course I did, I carried him around for over nine months waiting to see his face. But my point is this, love takes time and your baby isn't going to show it to you how you'd probably expect. Sweet cuddles only last until your baby is old enough to arch it's back and scream at you to put them down (It Will happen). And the only real sign of affection you'll notice is that when you pick them up, they'll stop crying (for the most part). In short, as a new parent, you earn their love every single day.

2. This whole, "I'm going to wake up in the morning, walk into my babies room and see him smiling at me." thing, is the biggest lie ever, at least in some aspects. For starts, you aren't going to walk into your babies room. You'll most likely be crawling into his room, if he has his own room at all. He's probably not going to be smiling for a long LONG time. You aren't going to be able to wake up to a smile, you'll wake up to a scream. In fact, it's the same scream that's kept you up night after night for the past eight months. When he does smile, it's at three in the morning when he's decided to wake up for the day and want's to play. These are not happy smiles, they're mischievous smiles, and though it's totally adorable, you'll learn to partially dread them for a very very long time.

3. And then there are those that think they'll be able to go out every few weekends or so and hang out with friends. Seriously? Do people actually do that? All of this Teen Mom crap about how the grandparents are all like 'oh, of course sweetie, go out to that club and have a good time." is total BOGUS. In what universe does that ACTUALLY happen? It's been MONTHS since I've had an overnight baby sitter!!!!!!! MONTHS!!!!!! And to be honest, I'm going just a tiny bit insane. I don't sleep. I don't see friends. And half of the time I can't even eat anything because James throws monstrous fits right as I'm about to sit down and eat a sandwich. No grandparent, especially fairly young grandparents like my mother, wants to spend their weekend watching a teething, fussy, grumpy, LOUD, baby when they could be at the bar, or better yet, sleeping.

4. "I'm going to finish school, go to college, have a job, and see my baby every day all at the same time." This is most likely not going to happen. Sure, I was long out of high school before baby James made his appearance, but college, job, AND James, from experience, was extremely hard to pull off. That, and I never really got to see James. When I was home, I was doing homework, I was gone at a practically full time job for most of the time, and by the time I was done with everything, James was either sleeping or I was so tired that I needed to sleep. The reality is, at most, you might be able to do two of those things at a time without snapping. Either a job and the baby, school and the baby, or school and a job (not preferred). Being able to balance all three is a nothing short of a miracle.

5. Life doesn't stop to let you regain composure so you can take on another day. More and more and more gets dumped on you every day until you honestly can't handle any more. Phone bills, car insurance, health insurance, gas, car accidents, emergency room visits, negative bank accounts, ramen noodles every night for three weeks... unless you get everything handed to you, you'll have to deal with all of this by yourself, just like Jesse and I have. We've thought dozens of times that it couldn't get any worse, and then it did. And the truth? It doesn't get better unless you start to make a change. This coming semester, I won't be able to take college classes, we just can't afford me NOT having a full time, well paying job. So instead I'm applying at a factory where I'll be making 13 dollars an hour, just like Jesse, so we can pay off our debts and focus on James. I won't be able to see James nearly as often as I do now, which is really going to tough, but I'd rather be able to afford those extra cans of formula that James desperately needs than have to struggle to get to the end of the month.

Life is TOUGH. And people have way too many misconceptions that a baby is going to make their lives perfect when in reality, they make it that much harder. James is THE light of my life. He makes me want to do better for him. But I'd be lying if I said that life is perfect just the way it is. I love you buddy. Always <3

Good times, bad times, and how the hell I'm going to deal with them.

These past few weeks have been tough. Jesse had nearly three weeks off of work, and though it was great having him home, the unemployment that he hasn't even received yet is going to be crummy. He went back to work today, thank goodness, but I fear that we're never going to get out of the financial black hole that we've unknowingly created.

Between student loans, car payments, insurance payments, gas, groceries, necessities for James, and all of the other essentials in life, Jesse and I have a whopping 27,000 dollars worth of debt right now. The number makes me want to cry. So much so, that I haven't known what to do for a long time. I wanted to finish my first two years of college, have a part time job, and spend as much time as I can with James, but now it seems that the debt is only getting deeper, and there's no climbing out of it. So I decided that for now, I'll get a full time job, at the same factory that Jesse works at, so that we might have a chance of making it out alive and intact. This isn't what I wanted, but it seems to be the only option as of late.

On another note, James is adorable. He's wonderful. And I don't think I'll ever get tired of taking pictures of him.  This one especially, is one of the greatest ones I've taken! He's SO CUTE! Let me know your input! Follow us or leave us a comment at amazingjames.blogspot.com !

10 After Christmas Tips to Keep you From Scrambling Next Year

Alrighty, so Christmas wasn't that long ago right? I for one, am glad that the Holiday season is finally OVER. After driving 200 miles on Christmas day, and suffering through EIGHT Christmas celebrations amongst our family members, I'm glad that I have 350+ days to recoup. We loved seeing James play with all of the cool paper he got (seeing as he could care less about the toys), but it was really stressful having to run EVERYWHERE. That, and though most people were appreciative of us being able to make it, others were angry that we didn't show up 'on time' (when they really hadn't even set up an ACTUAL time). But anyway, below is a few tips to keep myself, as well as anyone else that may have the same problem, from scrambling next year.

1. Your personal family Christmas comes first. Really. Jesse, James, and I truly wanted nothing more than to just stay home, open our presents, and relax in our PJs. Instead, we woke up at 5 in the morning to drive nearly a hundred miles to pick up my sister, have a Christmas, drive my sister to my mother's house, have another Christmas, and then drive even more to attend EVEN MORE Christmas's. So, put yours first and if you have to cancel others, hopefully the rest of your family will understand. If not?

2. Try to limit yourself to at MOST, three Christmas celebrations in one day. After going to seven Christmas's in one day, Jesse and I were both worn out, and ready for the day to be over with. We didn't feel like we were truly able to enjoy any of it. Three, though it still may seem like a bit much, would probably have been a lot less stressful in hindsight.

3. So we all have those family Christmas's that require you to bring a Secret Santa gift. In order to avoid scrambling for a gift within the three days before Christmas (EXTREMELY busy shopping days) Instead, put together the gifts months in advance. A great way to avoid costly gifts is to assemble them yourself! Those DIY mason jar kits? Yeah, that would be cool! Nail polish kits, spa kits, movie kits, there are tons of things that you can do, most of which will cost you no more than ten dollars! Doing these in advance will make it much more possible to avoid the stresses of the holiday season.

4. No one wants a Christmas sweater on Christmas. Seriously. When are they going to wear it? Next year? In fact, it's best to stay away from Christmas related Christmas presents all together.

5. We all have that friend/relative that is EXTREMELY difficult to shop for. Heck, I'M extremely difficult to shop for. Don't buy me clothes, don't buy me shoes, don't buy me anything pink, purple, or girly whatsoever. What would I want for Christmas? A gift card. Just get me a gift card so you can't screw anything up and I can get exactly what I want! Buy a gift card because you've thought about it forever and you still have no idea! Yes, I'll appreciate anything that someone takes the time to give me, as I'm sure anyone else would, but if you really wanna make me happy? A gift card will do juuuust fine.

6. I know plenty of people that honestly, shouldn't be allowed to have Credit Cards between the months of October and January. If you're not going to be able to pay the next three months rent because of how much money you've spent on Christmas, then you probably shouldn't have spent that much money. I understand that money is pretty scarce, especially during the Holiday Season, but to avoid this, BUY YOUR GIFTS AHEAD OF TIME. You don't HAVE to get all of the Black Friday deals, or Christmas Eve Deals, or Day After Christmas Deals, because there will ALWAYS be deals. If you have to go to any of the deals? Go to the Day After Christmas ones, all of the Holiday Decor, clothes, pretty much everything, is 50% off. At least that way, you can get your Ugly Sweater for cheap next year!

7. Start saving up BEFORE the week before Black Friday! Set goals throughout the year and try to make a savings plan that will fit your style. Set aside 20 dollars out of each paycheck, put all of your spare change in a jar and don't touch it! Do the 50 week saving challenge! Every week, you set aside that specific dollar amount. On week one, one dollar, week two, two dollars, week 17, seventeen dollars. It's that simple! That way, you aren't struggling to make ends meet come the end of the year.

8. So, we've all seen that moment where either your own child, or a child you bought a gift for, wasn't nearly as enthused as you'd hoped they would be. To avoid this next year, have Santa write a letter to them! (If the child is young enough). This way, you can get an idea of a few of the things they want WITHOUT them knowing that you're hunting around for present ideas.

9. You're the notorious gift giver, the thoughtful sibling that always finds the perfect gift for your five brothers and sisters, your mom and dad, the boyfriends parents, and even his brothers and sisters. And this year, you had a baby! Do you have the three hundred dollars it took every other year to get all of your family and friends the perfect gifts? Probably not... So take care of your own first. For the past several years, Jesse and I have always bought at least one special gift for each and every one of our family members. And this year... we really just couldn't do it. Instead, we bought gifts for James and James alone. If your a teen parent like me, I'm sure you're family will understand that the money truly just isn't there this year, and baby comes first.

10. A great gift alternative any year is one that doesn't involve much money, or thought, at all! Christmas cards are a GREAT way to be creative, and save money. Shutterfly.com (my life and savior) is a great site to use for all of your cards, prints, and photo decor needs.

Below is our Christmas card that I designed that features my oh so beautiful son, James. I bought the cute little outfit at Carters, a teddy bear that I've had since I was born, and seated him on an old vintage looking recliner.  The card turned out GREAT and I loved how many options I had! There were tons of selections to choose from and I found this one, which fit my style perfectly. There are so many wonderful deals and ways to save on Shutterfly.com, including 50 free 4x6 upon signing up! Sign up! Get creative! And follow James and I at amazingjames.blogspot.com.

10 Things To Think About Before Getting Pregnant

It's been a while! James and I have been really busy with the Holidays and what not and today has been the first day that I've really been able to sit down and write for a little while. Granted, it is only a short time, but still. Anyway, I'm wanting to use this blog to give some sort of reality check to people that think they want to be parents, especially teen parents. I know, it seems unbelievable that someone would want to get pregnant at 18, 16, even 14, but it's not entirely unheard of. So, with that said, here's a list of things someone SHOULD think about before deciding to jump on the baby bandwagon and pop out a baby.

1. School. Are you even out of high school yet? What about college? Luckily, I was 19 and well out of high school before James was born, but still. Had James Actually been planned, I would have waited until I was well out of my college years as well. Its no picnic working on tons of homework and having a baby on your hip to boot! College is stressful enough without a baby, so definitely take that into consideration before participating in acts that produce children.

2. It's not about the money? Bull crap. It's ALL about the money. Money pays bills, buys gas and food, pays for formula and diapers, as well as anything else that your baby truly needs in order to survive. But money takes work, like a job for instance. And it's not just about having a job. A safe rule to go by is to have half a years salary in the bank before having a child. That's a LOT of money when you think about it, and that should aaaaaall be saved up BEFORE a baby comes into the picture.

3. Dreams. Did you want to take a big vacation before you possibly went off to college? Travel the world with a future hubby? Well, babies make that much more difficult, especially if you don't have money to begin with. Being pregnant alone limits what you can do quite a bit, let alone Actually having a baby to lug around wherever you have to go.

4. Even if you don't have a healthy relationship with your family, you need to think about them before you have sex. Not literally RIGHT before you have sex, that would be weird. But before you get yourself into a situation that you can't get out of. Sex is meant for babies. Babies come from sex. So before lying down and participating in sexual escapades of any kind, it's always a good idea to think about if at that very moment, you'd be prepared for a baby. (Keep in mind I'm writing these from experience as well as hindsight.) One of the hardest things to do when I found out I was pregnant was tell my grandfather. He's always looked at me as the good one, the one that got straight A's, the one that was really going to do something in life. I thought he'd think less of me for getting pregnant and upon telling him, he told me that all babies are blessings, he'd just hoped I'd be married first. I cried, obviously, but he still came to the hospital and still looked at James like he was the most perfect grandson he could have asked for. Anyway, the point of this one is to realize that babies don't just affect you, it takes a village.

5. This is probably one of my bigger points. Are you, your parents/ caretakers, or your boyfriends parents/ caretakers  on any kind of government assistance? Yes? Then you sure as hell better be on a decent form of birth control because you shouldn't even be thinking about babies! It is THE hardest thing in the world to raise a child when NO ONE has money. The government does not want to raise your baby, nor provide for your baby. That's your job. So, at the very least, if you're on foodstamps, or medicaid, or anything like that, try your darndest to at least have one, better yet two, methods of birth control.

6. I know I already talked about money. But money comes from a job, and frankly, McDonalds isn't going to cut it. In a perfect world for a baby, you and baby daddy would make over 50,000 dollars a year. That way, your baby could be relatively taken care of and you wouldn't CONSTANTLY be struggling. It's time to send baby daddy off to the factory and if you're in school, you need to find a part time job with semi sustainable income. Nursing homes are almost always hiring, and even laundry positions tend to pay much better than flipping burgers at the local restaurant.

7. Living space. Seriously. You do NOT want to be cooped up with you, your boyfriend (if your parents let you) and a baby, all in the same room that you've grown up in your entire life. That one room is going to grow smaller and smaller as the diaper pile grows bigger and bigger. You want, no, you NEED to have your own place in order to have a baby. It's hard living with your parents while you're trying to learn to be a parent, and honestly, it's not recommended.

8. Do you think your current boyfriend would be a good dad? Really.... sit down and really think about it. Sure, they might be cute, but are they going to WANT to stay home every Saturday night with the baby? Jesse and I haven't seen any of our friends in MONTHS, and since James has been born, I'm pretty sure we've averaged less than five days of time spent away from the baby. But Jesse is amazing, even though he's a total jerk bag at times, but he's still a wonderful dad. But even if your bo IS daddy material, it's still best to put children off for as long as you can... 23-25 would definitely be a lot better than 15 or 16.

9. Do you like having a life outside of your home? Do you like having clean clothes for more than ten minutes? Clean hair? Bathing? If you said yes to most of these things, then mommy hood is not for you, at least not while you're a teenager. Firstly, it's usually just James and me here while Jesse is at work. My clothes are almost always covered in some sort of bodily fluid via James, my hair is usually  covered in slobber, and I'm lucky if I get to get a bath three days in a row. Sure, I love every slobbery minute of it, but I've also never been one to Want to go out and do things. If you ARE that kind of person, like I said, hold off on children.

10. Lastly, I understand that this blog probably seems like a no-brainer. But honestly, there are still going to be people that read this that are still going to think that being a teen mom is going to be a total dream, and that's really not the case. This last tip is to say that no matter what, no matter if you THINK you're ready or not, whether you're not even trying to get pregnant but you still want to have sex as a teenager anyway, no matter WHAT, you're not ready. THINK before you have sex and know that things happen, and no method of contraception is full proof, except one. If you AREN'T ready for motherhood, then the best thing you could do is abstain from sex, or at least be smart about it. And for those who Are wanting to get pregnant, those who are far too young to truly want it, please just wait. Okay? Babies are beautiful, they truly are. But I'd be lying if I said that at times, I'm not sure if there's more good or bad. Car payments are killing me right now, I'm down to one day a week at a part time job that doesn't pay me enough for what I do, and I think ramen is going to be on the menu for the next month. There is nothing glamorous about motherhood, and you're only young once. I love my life how it is now, so if you love yours just the way it is, keep it that way.

Much love from James and I

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