5 Things I Wish People Knew About Actually Having A Baby

There are so many people that are under the impression that they're going to have a baby, the baby is going to love them, and all is going to be well. They think that they're going to get married and live happily ever after, mommy, daddy, and baby. I think if people were to get that misconception out of their heads and prepare themselves for REALITY instead of some warped fantasy that they've created in their minds, everyone would be much better off. This is what this blog is going to do. I'm going to give you five harsh, but extremely true realities that most people aren't prepared to hear.

1. As much as people don't want to believe it, your baby doesn't instantly adore you, nor does it show it's affection like you'd hoped it would. Most people want to think that the moment you hold your baby they immediately show you undying affection, and that's really not the case. Granted, in the first few hours, a great bond is forged, that doesn't mean that you'll have this wonderful perfect connection from that moment forward. When James was born, I was honestly terrified. I loved him, of course I did, I carried him around for over nine months waiting to see his face. But my point is this, love takes time and your baby isn't going to show it to you how you'd probably expect. Sweet cuddles only last until your baby is old enough to arch it's back and scream at you to put them down (It Will happen). And the only real sign of affection you'll notice is that when you pick them up, they'll stop crying (for the most part). In short, as a new parent, you earn their love every single day.

2. This whole, "I'm going to wake up in the morning, walk into my babies room and see him smiling at me." thing, is the biggest lie ever, at least in some aspects. For starts, you aren't going to walk into your babies room. You'll most likely be crawling into his room, if he has his own room at all. He's probably not going to be smiling for a long LONG time. You aren't going to be able to wake up to a smile, you'll wake up to a scream. In fact, it's the same scream that's kept you up night after night for the past eight months. When he does smile, it's at three in the morning when he's decided to wake up for the day and want's to play. These are not happy smiles, they're mischievous smiles, and though it's totally adorable, you'll learn to partially dread them for a very very long time.

3. And then there are those that think they'll be able to go out every few weekends or so and hang out with friends. Seriously? Do people actually do that? All of this Teen Mom crap about how the grandparents are all like 'oh, of course sweetie, go out to that club and have a good time." is total BOGUS. In what universe does that ACTUALLY happen? It's been MONTHS since I've had an overnight baby sitter!!!!!!! MONTHS!!!!!! And to be honest, I'm going just a tiny bit insane. I don't sleep. I don't see friends. And half of the time I can't even eat anything because James throws monstrous fits right as I'm about to sit down and eat a sandwich. No grandparent, especially fairly young grandparents like my mother, wants to spend their weekend watching a teething, fussy, grumpy, LOUD, baby when they could be at the bar, or better yet, sleeping.

4. "I'm going to finish school, go to college, have a job, and see my baby every day all at the same time." This is most likely not going to happen. Sure, I was long out of high school before baby James made his appearance, but college, job, AND James, from experience, was extremely hard to pull off. That, and I never really got to see James. When I was home, I was doing homework, I was gone at a practically full time job for most of the time, and by the time I was done with everything, James was either sleeping or I was so tired that I needed to sleep. The reality is, at most, you might be able to do two of those things at a time without snapping. Either a job and the baby, school and the baby, or school and a job (not preferred). Being able to balance all three is a nothing short of a miracle.

5. Life doesn't stop to let you regain composure so you can take on another day. More and more and more gets dumped on you every day until you honestly can't handle any more. Phone bills, car insurance, health insurance, gas, car accidents, emergency room visits, negative bank accounts, ramen noodles every night for three weeks... unless you get everything handed to you, you'll have to deal with all of this by yourself, just like Jesse and I have. We've thought dozens of times that it couldn't get any worse, and then it did. And the truth? It doesn't get better unless you start to make a change. This coming semester, I won't be able to take college classes, we just can't afford me NOT having a full time, well paying job. So instead I'm applying at a factory where I'll be making 13 dollars an hour, just like Jesse, so we can pay off our debts and focus on James. I won't be able to see James nearly as often as I do now, which is really going to tough, but I'd rather be able to afford those extra cans of formula that James desperately needs than have to struggle to get to the end of the month.

Life is TOUGH. And people have way too many misconceptions that a baby is going to make their lives perfect when in reality, they make it that much harder. James is THE light of my life. He makes me want to do better for him. But I'd be lying if I said that life is perfect just the way it is. I love you buddy. Always <3

Good times, bad times, and how the hell I'm going to deal with them.

These past few weeks have been tough. Jesse had nearly three weeks off of work, and though it was great having him home, the unemployment that he hasn't even received yet is going to be crummy. He went back to work today, thank goodness, but I fear that we're never going to get out of the financial black hole that we've unknowingly created.

Between student loans, car payments, insurance payments, gas, groceries, necessities for James, and all of the other essentials in life, Jesse and I have a whopping 27,000 dollars worth of debt right now. The number makes me want to cry. So much so, that I haven't known what to do for a long time. I wanted to finish my first two years of college, have a part time job, and spend as much time as I can with James, but now it seems that the debt is only getting deeper, and there's no climbing out of it. So I decided that for now, I'll get a full time job, at the same factory that Jesse works at, so that we might have a chance of making it out alive and intact. This isn't what I wanted, but it seems to be the only option as of late.

On another note, James is adorable. He's wonderful. And I don't think I'll ever get tired of taking pictures of him.  This one especially, is one of the greatest ones I've taken! He's SO CUTE! Let me know your input! Follow us or leave us a comment at amazingjames.blogspot.com !

10 After Christmas Tips to Keep you From Scrambling Next Year

Alrighty, so Christmas wasn't that long ago right? I for one, am glad that the Holiday season is finally OVER. After driving 200 miles on Christmas day, and suffering through EIGHT Christmas celebrations amongst our family members, I'm glad that I have 350+ days to recoup. We loved seeing James play with all of the cool paper he got (seeing as he could care less about the toys), but it was really stressful having to run EVERYWHERE. That, and though most people were appreciative of us being able to make it, others were angry that we didn't show up 'on time' (when they really hadn't even set up an ACTUAL time). But anyway, below is a few tips to keep myself, as well as anyone else that may have the same problem, from scrambling next year.

1. Your personal family Christmas comes first. Really. Jesse, James, and I truly wanted nothing more than to just stay home, open our presents, and relax in our PJs. Instead, we woke up at 5 in the morning to drive nearly a hundred miles to pick up my sister, have a Christmas, drive my sister to my mother's house, have another Christmas, and then drive even more to attend EVEN MORE Christmas's. So, put yours first and if you have to cancel others, hopefully the rest of your family will understand. If not?

2. Try to limit yourself to at MOST, three Christmas celebrations in one day. After going to seven Christmas's in one day, Jesse and I were both worn out, and ready for the day to be over with. We didn't feel like we were truly able to enjoy any of it. Three, though it still may seem like a bit much, would probably have been a lot less stressful in hindsight.

3. So we all have those family Christmas's that require you to bring a Secret Santa gift. In order to avoid scrambling for a gift within the three days before Christmas (EXTREMELY busy shopping days) Instead, put together the gifts months in advance. A great way to avoid costly gifts is to assemble them yourself! Those DIY mason jar kits? Yeah, that would be cool! Nail polish kits, spa kits, movie kits, there are tons of things that you can do, most of which will cost you no more than ten dollars! Doing these in advance will make it much more possible to avoid the stresses of the holiday season.

4. No one wants a Christmas sweater on Christmas. Seriously. When are they going to wear it? Next year? In fact, it's best to stay away from Christmas related Christmas presents all together.

5. We all have that friend/relative that is EXTREMELY difficult to shop for. Heck, I'M extremely difficult to shop for. Don't buy me clothes, don't buy me shoes, don't buy me anything pink, purple, or girly whatsoever. What would I want for Christmas? A gift card. Just get me a gift card so you can't screw anything up and I can get exactly what I want! Buy a gift card because you've thought about it forever and you still have no idea! Yes, I'll appreciate anything that someone takes the time to give me, as I'm sure anyone else would, but if you really wanna make me happy? A gift card will do juuuust fine.

6. I know plenty of people that honestly, shouldn't be allowed to have Credit Cards between the months of October and January. If you're not going to be able to pay the next three months rent because of how much money you've spent on Christmas, then you probably shouldn't have spent that much money. I understand that money is pretty scarce, especially during the Holiday Season, but to avoid this, BUY YOUR GIFTS AHEAD OF TIME. You don't HAVE to get all of the Black Friday deals, or Christmas Eve Deals, or Day After Christmas Deals, because there will ALWAYS be deals. If you have to go to any of the deals? Go to the Day After Christmas ones, all of the Holiday Decor, clothes, pretty much everything, is 50% off. At least that way, you can get your Ugly Sweater for cheap next year!

7. Start saving up BEFORE the week before Black Friday! Set goals throughout the year and try to make a savings plan that will fit your style. Set aside 20 dollars out of each paycheck, put all of your spare change in a jar and don't touch it! Do the 50 week saving challenge! Every week, you set aside that specific dollar amount. On week one, one dollar, week two, two dollars, week 17, seventeen dollars. It's that simple! That way, you aren't struggling to make ends meet come the end of the year.

8. So, we've all seen that moment where either your own child, or a child you bought a gift for, wasn't nearly as enthused as you'd hoped they would be. To avoid this next year, have Santa write a letter to them! (If the child is young enough). This way, you can get an idea of a few of the things they want WITHOUT them knowing that you're hunting around for present ideas.

9. You're the notorious gift giver, the thoughtful sibling that always finds the perfect gift for your five brothers and sisters, your mom and dad, the boyfriends parents, and even his brothers and sisters. And this year, you had a baby! Do you have the three hundred dollars it took every other year to get all of your family and friends the perfect gifts? Probably not... So take care of your own first. For the past several years, Jesse and I have always bought at least one special gift for each and every one of our family members. And this year... we really just couldn't do it. Instead, we bought gifts for James and James alone. If your a teen parent like me, I'm sure you're family will understand that the money truly just isn't there this year, and baby comes first.

10. A great gift alternative any year is one that doesn't involve much money, or thought, at all! Christmas cards are a GREAT way to be creative, and save money. Shutterfly.com (my life and savior) is a great site to use for all of your cards, prints, and photo decor needs.

Below is our Christmas card that I designed that features my oh so beautiful son, James. I bought the cute little outfit at Carters, a teddy bear that I've had since I was born, and seated him on an old vintage looking recliner.  The card turned out GREAT and I loved how many options I had! There were tons of selections to choose from and I found this one, which fit my style perfectly. There are so many wonderful deals and ways to save on Shutterfly.com, including 50 free 4x6 upon signing up! Sign up! Get creative! And follow James and I at amazingjames.blogspot.com.

10 Things To Think About Before Getting Pregnant

It's been a while! James and I have been really busy with the Holidays and what not and today has been the first day that I've really been able to sit down and write for a little while. Granted, it is only a short time, but still. Anyway, I'm wanting to use this blog to give some sort of reality check to people that think they want to be parents, especially teen parents. I know, it seems unbelievable that someone would want to get pregnant at 18, 16, even 14, but it's not entirely unheard of. So, with that said, here's a list of things someone SHOULD think about before deciding to jump on the baby bandwagon and pop out a baby.

1. School. Are you even out of high school yet? What about college? Luckily, I was 19 and well out of high school before James was born, but still. Had James Actually been planned, I would have waited until I was well out of my college years as well. Its no picnic working on tons of homework and having a baby on your hip to boot! College is stressful enough without a baby, so definitely take that into consideration before participating in acts that produce children.

2. It's not about the money? Bull crap. It's ALL about the money. Money pays bills, buys gas and food, pays for formula and diapers, as well as anything else that your baby truly needs in order to survive. But money takes work, like a job for instance. And it's not just about having a job. A safe rule to go by is to have half a years salary in the bank before having a child. That's a LOT of money when you think about it, and that should aaaaaall be saved up BEFORE a baby comes into the picture.

3. Dreams. Did you want to take a big vacation before you possibly went off to college? Travel the world with a future hubby? Well, babies make that much more difficult, especially if you don't have money to begin with. Being pregnant alone limits what you can do quite a bit, let alone Actually having a baby to lug around wherever you have to go.

4. Even if you don't have a healthy relationship with your family, you need to think about them before you have sex. Not literally RIGHT before you have sex, that would be weird. But before you get yourself into a situation that you can't get out of. Sex is meant for babies. Babies come from sex. So before lying down and participating in sexual escapades of any kind, it's always a good idea to think about if at that very moment, you'd be prepared for a baby. (Keep in mind I'm writing these from experience as well as hindsight.) One of the hardest things to do when I found out I was pregnant was tell my grandfather. He's always looked at me as the good one, the one that got straight A's, the one that was really going to do something in life. I thought he'd think less of me for getting pregnant and upon telling him, he told me that all babies are blessings, he'd just hoped I'd be married first. I cried, obviously, but he still came to the hospital and still looked at James like he was the most perfect grandson he could have asked for. Anyway, the point of this one is to realize that babies don't just affect you, it takes a village.

5. This is probably one of my bigger points. Are you, your parents/ caretakers, or your boyfriends parents/ caretakers  on any kind of government assistance? Yes? Then you sure as hell better be on a decent form of birth control because you shouldn't even be thinking about babies! It is THE hardest thing in the world to raise a child when NO ONE has money. The government does not want to raise your baby, nor provide for your baby. That's your job. So, at the very least, if you're on foodstamps, or medicaid, or anything like that, try your darndest to at least have one, better yet two, methods of birth control.

6. I know I already talked about money. But money comes from a job, and frankly, McDonalds isn't going to cut it. In a perfect world for a baby, you and baby daddy would make over 50,000 dollars a year. That way, your baby could be relatively taken care of and you wouldn't CONSTANTLY be struggling. It's time to send baby daddy off to the factory and if you're in school, you need to find a part time job with semi sustainable income. Nursing homes are almost always hiring, and even laundry positions tend to pay much better than flipping burgers at the local restaurant.

7. Living space. Seriously. You do NOT want to be cooped up with you, your boyfriend (if your parents let you) and a baby, all in the same room that you've grown up in your entire life. That one room is going to grow smaller and smaller as the diaper pile grows bigger and bigger. You want, no, you NEED to have your own place in order to have a baby. It's hard living with your parents while you're trying to learn to be a parent, and honestly, it's not recommended.

8. Do you think your current boyfriend would be a good dad? Really.... sit down and really think about it. Sure, they might be cute, but are they going to WANT to stay home every Saturday night with the baby? Jesse and I haven't seen any of our friends in MONTHS, and since James has been born, I'm pretty sure we've averaged less than five days of time spent away from the baby. But Jesse is amazing, even though he's a total jerk bag at times, but he's still a wonderful dad. But even if your bo IS daddy material, it's still best to put children off for as long as you can... 23-25 would definitely be a lot better than 15 or 16.

9. Do you like having a life outside of your home? Do you like having clean clothes for more than ten minutes? Clean hair? Bathing? If you said yes to most of these things, then mommy hood is not for you, at least not while you're a teenager. Firstly, it's usually just James and me here while Jesse is at work. My clothes are almost always covered in some sort of bodily fluid via James, my hair is usually  covered in slobber, and I'm lucky if I get to get a bath three days in a row. Sure, I love every slobbery minute of it, but I've also never been one to Want to go out and do things. If you ARE that kind of person, like I said, hold off on children.

10. Lastly, I understand that this blog probably seems like a no-brainer. But honestly, there are still going to be people that read this that are still going to think that being a teen mom is going to be a total dream, and that's really not the case. This last tip is to say that no matter what, no matter if you THINK you're ready or not, whether you're not even trying to get pregnant but you still want to have sex as a teenager anyway, no matter WHAT, you're not ready. THINK before you have sex and know that things happen, and no method of contraception is full proof, except one. If you AREN'T ready for motherhood, then the best thing you could do is abstain from sex, or at least be smart about it. And for those who Are wanting to get pregnant, those who are far too young to truly want it, please just wait. Okay? Babies are beautiful, they truly are. But I'd be lying if I said that at times, I'm not sure if there's more good or bad. Car payments are killing me right now, I'm down to one day a week at a part time job that doesn't pay me enough for what I do, and I think ramen is going to be on the menu for the next month. There is nothing glamorous about motherhood, and you're only young once. I love my life how it is now, so if you love yours just the way it is, keep it that way.

Much love from James and I

Remember to comment or follow us at amazingjames.blogspot.com

15 Tips To Keep You Sanity During Babyhood

Having a young infant is difficult. You no longer have any time to yourself to run errands or take trips to town, let alone go to the bathroom, and although it would be great if all of the skills we needed were inborn instincts, that's not the case. You don't just have a baby and KNOW how to change a diaper, or breastfeed, or what to do if they don't stop screaming for three hours straight. And that's where this blog comes in handy. Below is a list of 15 tips for at the hospital with baby, and to make life a little bit easier for you and the little one.

1. "These are going to be the happiest days of my life!" Get this out of your head. This is a lie. Sure, you're going to have really great days where you get to gaze into your babies eyes and you honestly think that they're staring straight into your soul. But then you'll have other days where this intimate moment is ruined by your baby farting on your lap or puking on your face. The first year is one of the hardest (until they're teenagers) and it's a learning experience for everyone. But the very first thing you have to learn is that it's not going to be all unicorns and rainbows. Not for a very very long time.

2. Patterns/ schedules are key to everything. Whether your baby has just been born, or you're trying to get them on a sleeping schedule, having a structured schedule will make life a heck of a lot easier. Little did Jesse and I know, you have to do things in a certain order with babies. Our first few nights in the hospital were brutal and it didn't help that I was so drugged out that I could hardly remember my birthday. But with a little bit of help from the nurses (they WILL help you) we discovered that if you did things in the Right order, you wouldn't have to go back and redo them quite so quickly. For example, changing your baby FIRST, and then feeding them is more likely to make them fall asleep peacefully rather than waking up from their food coma and being grumpy because their diaper is uncomfortable. And for bedtime, develop a routine early on. Bath time, bottle time, and bed time, may be a route to go.

3. Know now that parenthood can be extremely frustrating. Even those first few nights in the hospital where you're all goo goo eyed over your brand new bundle of joy can be terrifying, especially as first time parents. If like me, you had no idea what was wrong with your baby at first when it cried, try to think back to #2. Are they changed? If yes, have they been fed? If that's also yes, chances are they need burped (especially if they were just born) or need the cuddles. Just go through the steps and if you've taken care of all of babies needs, they'll be okay if they cry for awhile.

4. While you're in the hospital, ask if the baby can stay in the nursery instead of in the room with you. This may sound horrible and if you want to keep the baby in the room with you, go ahead! But having those few hours of sleep for the first few days is going to help you to heal, and believe me, you won't be getting sleep for a looong time, so enjoy it while you can.

5. Alright, for all you petty thieves out there take note of this. When James and I were still in the hospital, James's bassinet was mounted on top of a cart with multiple drawers. Inside these drawers were extra pairs of clothes, blankets, and DIAPERS. LEAVE THIS THING BARE! Take ALL of the diapers the day that you leave, as well as any wipes, bottles of pre made, unopened formula, and anything else. And don't forget the disposable underwear in the bathroom! You paid for them, you take them. However, refrain from taking the clothes and spare blankets, I'm sure you already have a bunch of cute outfits and the hospital genuinely needs those. Also, ask for a few hospital masks. That way, if you get sick in the next few weeks, you can wear one in order to avoid spreading it to the baby.

6. Whether you had a vaginal delivery or a c-section, you're going to be tired afterwards, maybe even after you get home. To remedy this, NAP WHEN THE BABY NAPS. This is hard to do, especially if you have trouble sleeping during the day like me, but pull the blinds and sleep as much as you can. Your baby is going to sleep more in these first few weeks than ever so take advantage.

7. If you truly can't sleep during the day and it's getting to the point where you're unable to stay awake any longer, phone a friend or family member to babysit for a couple of hours so you can take a decent nap.

8. Don't abuse the babysitter. Whether it's a close friend or family member or a babysitter you found on Care.com or something of the sort, you need to realize that no one WANTS to spend their day getting puked and pooped on by a screaming, stinky infant. If they refuse payment, make absolutely sure to tell them just how much you appreciate it, and if they have their own children, maybe try to return the favor down the road. And as for a non-familial babysitter, pay them the proper rate.

9. In reference to #8, what is the proper rate to pay a babysitter? Ten dollars an hour is NOT accurate. 7.50 an hour isn't accurate either. In my town, people get away with this because they think they can make their living off of babysitting. However, this isn't the case unless they babysit multiple kids from multiple families. If you have ONE child in your family, don't feel obligated to give up your entire salary in order to have a babysitter. In my state, the average pay for a government CERTIFIED babysitter is only 2.50 an hour, and that's on the high end! So why get some lousy high school girl wanting to pay for all of her gas and phone bills and give her 7 dollars or more an hour (that's nearly all of my paycheck) when she isn't even certified? My mother was a certified day care provider for several years and in order to do that, she went to classes on nearly a monthly basis. These classes consisted of CPR classes, diet and nutrition classes, as well as how to react in an emergency. She even had to take special classes in order to watch Timmy, a cousin of mine who had cerebral palsy and down syndrome. (Rest In Peace Buddy) In short, a certified babysitter is the way to go, they know what they're doing.

10. It's alright to be timid when you leave your baby with a babysitter, whether its family or not. I get uneasy leaving my baby with my own mother, and she's had five kids. Obviously she did pretty well since I'm still alive. But regardless, leaving your baby, if only for a couple of hours, is emotionally stressful. Try your hardest to relax anyway and know that you'll see them soon.

11. Every parent has a certain way that they want to raise their baby. No television or video games, no chocolate or candy, exercise every day, etc etc etc. Well, chances are things aren't going to go exactly according to plan. I knew early on that I didn't want James to be a video game junky, and I've stuck with that, but I see now, that television has its advantages. If I need to get dishes done, I can plop James down into his bouncy, sit him in front of the TV and BAM! I have the next twenty minutes to clean the kitchen! As for the chocolate and candy, tasting (as in licking, NOT chewing) candy and chocolate isn't going to make them overweight. Just yesterday, James tried his first candy cane! As long as you monitor them the entire time so they don't choke, and maybe hold onto the candy yourself so they don't swallow it, it's okay for them to have a  couple of licks. Make sure to have the camera handy because their faces are priceless as you introduce ne
w foods! Lemon, peppermint, chocolate, all of these are bound to get a crazy reaction! Just keep it in moderation.

12. Educate yourself. There's no such thing as reading too much or asking your doctor too many questions. For example, there is evidence to show that if you introduce some foods too early on, your child may be more prone to having food allergies in the future, or developing diabetes. When your infant gets to the point of eating ACTUAL table food, learn how to cut certain things up. Hot dogs for example, need to be in half length wise, and then those halves need to be cut length wise, before you cut them into smaller pieces to avoid a choking hazard. Along with food safety, education yourself on sleep safety. Co-sleeping is frowned upon and as cute as that eighty dollar comforter is, your baby isn't allowed to use it for a really long time and it shouldn't even be in the crib. Read up on all of your safety guide lines, it could save your baby's life.

13. To make everyone happy, try to stay organized. Your baby's closet can probably be gone through every two months at least in order for you to pull out clothes that no longer fit them! James is only seven months old and we already have a huuuuuge tote completely filled with everything that he no longer fits in. It takes some work, but you need the space.

14. Whether you're with your baby's dad or not, be civil. Unless they're complete and total crack heads and they're never going to change, your baby needs their dad in their life. Don't cut off a relationship between them because you're angry at the father. In the long run, this is going to hurt YOU. Not only is the dad going to resent you, you're going to have a child questioning you as they get older wondering why all of the other kids have dads and they don't.

15. Take it day by day and enjoy it! These are the hardest days, but they're also some of the more interesting ones. Your baby is going to crawl, laugh, smile, and say their first words during this first year! Write all of these things down, capture them on camera, on film, and cherish the good times to get you through the sleepless nights and sick days.

As always, feel free to follow us or leave your comments! James would like you a whole bunch if you did =]

Christmas Shopping. DONE! 10 Tips To A Safe, Pain Free Holiday Season

We went and picked up all of James's Christmas presents today! We put everything on layaway the Friday before Black Friday. Jesse and I both hate crowds and I'd be one of those people with a baseball bat swimming it at people so they don't take things from my cart. Black Friday is ridiculous for two reasons.

1. People are killed on Black Friday for video games, waffle irons, and fuzzy socks.
2. The Black Friday festivities end before six o'clock Friday morning. It's Black Thursday people, really.

So we got all of our shopping done early. We spent 179 dollars (Which was under our 200 dollar budget) and we got quite  a few things! I got him several Ugly Dolls because I adore them, and he got a lot of cool stuff that will help him develop and grow, so we're really excited for when he finally gets to open them Christmas day.

A few tips for the busy season....

1. If you don't like going out to go shopping and want to avoid all the hustle, bustle, and crazy people,  stay in! A lot of people aren't aware that the Monday after Thanksgiving has HUGE cyber sales. If Black Friday is too much for you, online deals are the way to go.

2. As crazy as it sounds, have the hubby set the budget. This time of year makes the fellas anxious and to be quite frank, grumpy. They think it's ridiculous to spend hundreds upon hundreds of dollars in such a short amount of time. (They aren't completely wrong there.) So have them choose the budget. If you think that you really need more wiggle room, try to compromise. Jesse gave me a budget of 200 and for just James, that was plenty.

3. You don't NEED the newest gaming system the moment it comes out. WAIT WAIT WAIT. Seriously. Give it six months and I can guarantee the price is going to drop dramatically. The PS4 and XBOX One can wait.

4. If Christmas is a big deal for you, plan ahead of time, way ahead of time. My mom always waits until the very last minute and then spends so much money that I question if she made her house payment that month. If you know you're a big spender, start saving first thing come January. A good budgeting trick that I plan to do next year is to designate a specific money amount to save every week. Week 1 you put in 1 dollar, week 2 you put in two dollars and so on and so forth until you are up to around fifty dollars for one week. By that point, you should have a TON saved up and you won't have to scrounge around in the couch cushions last minute.

5. If your family is anything like mine, you probably do some sort of Secret Santa at one point or another. For these kinds of things, don't feel like you have to go all out. At my family Christmas, the spending limit is 25 dollars, and you can do quite a bit with that. Gift Cards are wonderful and aren't really a cop out in these situations. If you feel like you want to put a little bit more thought into it, go to Dollar General and get the necessities for different 'kits'. Nail polish kits, movie night kits, handy man kits, there's a kit for everything. Throw all your stuff into a cute Christmas container (the movie night kit looks really cool in a popcorn bucket!) and you're good to go!

6. As cool as it is, the professional gift wrapping isn't completely necessary. I know that sometimes its almost like a charity and the money goes towards a good cause, and if you like to do that, great! But there are plenty of DIY tutorials for amazing christmas wrapping online.

7. On another note, Walmart and ToysRUs have really expensive wrapping paper. Five dollars a ROLL? That's a bit much for me... As always, I promote Dollar General. Be sure to make sure you aren't getting jipped by reading how much is actually in the roll before you purchase it. If there's only a few feed of paper for a dollar and you know you have a lot of large presents, maybe go for the 3 dollar roll instead, it will most likely have more.

8. Gordman's has beautiful Christmas decorations. So does Pier 1 and all of those other really expensive stores that I want to live in because they're so beautiful. In reality, if you want to have a little bit of Holiday Spirit in your home but don't want to spend a ton of money, Walmart and Dollar General (I know, DG again) have really cute seasonal decorations that are dirt cheap. Remember James's halloween pictures with all those cute little pumpkins and pine cones and flowers and leaves and all that other cute little harvest stuff? Those were ALL from Dollar General for under 25 dollars. The decorations are festive and cheap and seeing as you don't constantly have them in your house year round, there really isn't much of a reason to pay a ton of money for them.

9. There are some things that you really shouldn't buy cheap. As I mentioned above, I love Gordman's. I think the home decor is absolutely gorgeous. However, I WILL NEVER BUY ANOTHER SHIRT FROM THERE EVER AGAIN. It doesn't matter if you follow the washing directions on there to a T, they shrink and fray on the first wash. I've even tried washing these shirts on the gentle cycle, and they're still ruined on the very first wash. A lot of their clothes are this way. The jeans tear easily and even their baby clothes just don't stay nearly as nice as clothes from other stores. Maybe it's just been my experience, but twenty different bad experiences have kept me away from that clothing department for life. So, in short. Cheaping out with items like clothes and electronics is hit and miss sometimes. Paying that extra dollar USUALLY ensures quality, and to me, I'd rather pay more and have it last longer than pay a little bit less and it fall apart the second I get it home.

10. Probably the biggest piece of advice is that it's Christmas. It's not supposed to be about spending thousands of dollars and showing off your gifts to the neighbors. It's supposed to be about being with your family and showing your loved ones just how much you care about them. The gifts are nice, yes. But they aren't necessary. If you're struggling to put food on the table, please don't feel obligated to spend tons of money on toys your children will only play with for a year or two. Stay within your means. Luckily, there are programs that help struggling families provide gifts for their children for the Holidays. If you're one of these families, I hope these organizations find you.

Shop Smart Folks!

Follow James and I at amazingjames.blogspot.com and feel free to comment and share your own experiences whenever you'd like! (Seriously, NO ONE has feedback for us? Sheesh! Tough crowd!)

50 Secrets to Being a Great Teen Dad

I'm using this blog to give tips, to-do's and no-go's to any teenage families, especially the daddy's, that may actually take the time to read this. I'm sure a lot of these tips can go to older families as well, but mostly, this blog is for me. Jesse is a wonderful dad and though there are definitely areas of improvement (for both of us) he's done great with James, and I really can't ask for anything more.

1. This is probably one of the biggest tips I have. If you're a teenage dad and you Don't already have a job, GET ONE! Especially if you've already dropped out of school, there is NO reason you can't get a full time job. Factory jobs tend to pay ten dollars and up. Find one of those and stick with it. Unless you're going to college, there is really nothing better that you can do than get a good job that can support your family.

2. You have dreams and aspirations. Everyone does. But those need to go on hold for a while. Jesse has been preparing his entire life for being a musician. He's been playing guitar since he was a kid and he's gotten REALLY good in the past ten years, but regardless, he sets this aside because his 13.50/hr job is much more important. That job is what is going to provide for us, not an occasional gig every few weekends.

3. Whether you're in a relationship with your baby Mama or not, you need to get along. That teen mom crap you see on TV? That's NOT how this should go. The world doesn't need another Keefer, or any other idiot on those shows that don't want the 'daddy gig' because they'd rather be a 'gangsta DJ'. Seriously. Your baby needs an angry free environment to grow up in. They deserve that.

4. Be loyal to your family. If you get ticked off about your girlfriend giving someone a simple hello, there shouldn't be any reason in the world for you to text and talk to a bunch of other girls. This whole double standard thing has got to stop. It's annoying and stressful and shouldn't be happening around a child.

5. Sure, you worked all day. That doesn't mean you kick your muddy boots off right in front of the door, pull your socks off and throw them on the couch, and then go into the kitchen, make a ton of food, and not clean up your mess. If your baby Mama stays home with the baby all day, she already has a lot on her plate, she just doesn't get paid for it. Have some respect and pick up after yourself. I for one try really hard to clean up everyday while Jesse is away and its HARD. Take that into mind, don't be a slob.

6. Ten minutes of tidying up the house when you get home from work is not going to kill you. Whether you work 40 hours a week or you're still a student, helping out around the house is going to help YOU as a dad in the long run. How? Because you're not going to get the 'you never do anything' lecture. Cleaning up for just a few minutes a day is going to help you to steer clear from a LOT of arguments.

7. Women's work does not exist. Get this out of your head. This isn't the nineteen twenties and there is no reason that you can't wash dishes or do laundry on occasion. Pull up your damn pants and put your back into it.

8. Accept now that your love life is not going to be the same. As teenage parents, obviously you have some sort of sex life. That's about to change. Babies are exhausting and I for one want to SLEEP by the time eight o'clock comes around. Once you accept this, you aren't going to be nearly as moody.

9. Diaper duty is not just baby mama's job. It will not kill you to change a diaper. It won't kill you to change several diapers. Suck it up and deal with it. The baby needs changed and someone has to do it.

10. One of the greatest things you could do for your baby's mother is let her sleep at night. Even if you work all day, she's tired too. Give her a couple of nights a week to catch up on sleep. How can you do this? As soon as you hear the baby start to cry, pick them up and figure out their needs. Still dry? Give them a bottle. To get this done as quickly as possible, right before you lay down at night, take two or three bottles into your bedroom, fill them with JUST the water, and have your formula right there. That way, instead of going to the kitchen, grabbing the bottles, and Then mixing it, you just have to put in a couple scoops, shake, and you're good to go. Letting baby mama sleep benefits you too. She won't want to bite your head off nearly as often.

11. If you feel that you NEED a social life. It's time to learn how to schedule one. Chances are, when you get home of a day, mom needs a few minutes of her own personal time. Seriously, once your child is able to crawl, baby mama has NO time to herself to just breathe. Even bathroom time is no longer personal. Work out arrangements with your baby mom. If you want a man day, let her know so she can plan a lady day some other time.

12. Weekends are no longer for partying. Having the OCCASIONAL weekend for you and your girlfriend is one thing. But gone are the days of going out every Friday and not coming back to reality until three o'clock Monday morning. Your baby is your responsibility just as much on the weekends as any other day of the week. Get over it.

13. As common sense as it seems, yelling at your baby is a no no. Not only is this pointless, you're going to piss off your baby mama. Jesse sometimes loses his temper and I can tell you right now, all this does is make me EXTREMELY angry. Yelling and spanking are pointless tactics with infants and children. Keep your cool, gather your thoughts, and have another go.

14. I don't smoke, but sometimes, I need a 'smoke break'. I need that five ten minutes a day to get over my frustrations and I know that dads need that time too. If you know that there is no turning back and your anger is moments from getting the best of you, step outside. Vent to the birds, stamp your feet, and then get your butt back in there and take care of your baby.

15. In addition to 14, if you need a break and your significant other isn't around, put your baby in a SAFE place. A pack'n'play or their crib are ideal places to put them. If your baby is 0-4 months old, make sure any bedding that they may not be able to lift themselves off of is NOT in the crib. (There shouldn't be any thick bedding in the crib anyway) The couch, bed, and floor are NOT suitable places to leave your baby. Now that you have your baby in a safe place, go take your break. Your baby is okay to cry for a few minutes while your getting a hold on yourself.

16. When venting to the birds, don't pick up your cellphone. Leave it alone. You don't need to call your mom or your best friend and tell them how difficult your girlfriend is being or how hard being a parent is. Your mom already knows. You're preaching to the choir. And your best friend doesn't care. They probably don't have a child of their own and they're more worried about the next time they 'get some' than your baby drama. You venting is probably only making it so no one wants to come around.

17. Not every crying session calls for you to take a break. Get over yourself and man up. Chances are, baby mama is just as frustrated and she needs a break too on occasion. Sometimes just a few deep breaths can do the trick.

18. If you and baby mama aren't on good terms, try your hardest to be a good dad BEFORE the court is involved. You might be able to work out an agreement on your own that doesn't involve your wages being garnished. Promise to contribute as much as you can and compromise on a schedule that benefits both of you. As a father, you should want to be involved in your child's life. A common schedule used in the court system is when the dad gets the child on Wednesday's and every other weekend. It doesn't seem like much, but work it out.

19. Again, if you and baby mama aren't together, don't be in her business all the time. Unless you have a concern for the well-being of your child, there isn't a reason to call and text her constantly asking where she's at or what she's doing, especially if its YOUR weekend to have the baby. You have separate lives, leave her alone to enjoy herself while the baby is away.

20. It's not cheesy to show your affection for your baby mama in public. Having a healthy relationship is something to be proud of, and holding hands or the occasional peck on the cheek not only shows others that she's yours, it makes her feel like she's wanted.

21. This does not mean that a make-out session is called for. INTIMACY is for the bedroom. Affection and intimacy are two very different things. Don't get them confused.

22. We understand that you're probably a mama's boy. However, you have your own baby now and there is no need for you to CONSTANTLY be up your mom's butt. Visiting the grandparents on occasion is just fine, but seeing as your teen parents, your own parents probably have other children and obligations. They don't need three other people in their house every other day.

23. As a teen parent, you need to get your own place. If you still live with your own parents, know now that it isn't going to last. Sure, you're happy living with your mom, but is your girlfriend? Living with your parents can be extremely stressful on your significant other, especially if they don't get along. (This is something I know well.)

24. You are NOT going to be able to afford a 500 dollar apartment, plus all of your utilities, PLUS anything else that you might want. (Cable, internet, etc.) You don't need a fancy apartment. As long as its CLEAN and you aren't completely surrounded with drug addicts? An apartment is an apartment and for the mean time, you'll have to deal.

25. Storage is your new best friend. Organizational mechanisms, totes, the whole shebang, they'll help you in the long run. Whether you're sorting the mail, separating out your toiletries, or storing your baby's toys, you need storage. Being able to put things away in a proper place is going to relieve stress for everyone and make clean up a breeze.

26. Don't let the only time you spend with your baby be the time that you're taking care of them. Outside from feeding, changing, and bathing, you need more time to bond with them. Go on walks, play with a few toys, but don't stop that bond from being built. Its much easier to develop it now than later.

27. WATCH YOUR DAMN MOUTH! No seriously. It's only a matter of time before you hear your little one say 'oh, sh**'. Don't let them learn this from you. Cut back on the language now so you don't have to change the habit later.

28. Your baby is going to break your stuff, its only a matter of time. If you want to postpone this from happening, pick up your stuff! If you have your favorite CDs sitting out on the edge of the couch, don't be surprised when they're pulled down and smacked together.

29. The bottom line is that it's no longer about you. Your every waking move NEEDS to be about that baby. If you think you had a crummy childhood, don't let your baby undergo the same thing.

30. Be an example to others. There is a fairly true stereotype that teen parents just aren't good parents. Half of the time, they dump their own kids on their parents and say 'haste la vista!' to parenthood. Under NO circumstances is this okay. If your man enough to lay down and make a baby, your man enough to raise one. I don't care if you're FOURTEEN years old, that baby is YOUR responsibility. Not your moms, not your dads, not your grandparents, YOURS. You and your baby's mom have a lot of work to do. If you don't want to be seen as a crummy parent, don't act like one.

31. This seems self explanatory, but our generation seems to be filled with idiots that have no idea what's good for them. Say no to drugs. It's an expensive habit that just isn't suited for family life. You want to teach your child to be somebody when they get older? You want to show them that they're capable of handling anything? Then don't show them examples of YOU depending on a substance to relieve YOUR frustrations!

32. "It's just pot." No. No its not. If you want to land a decent job and keep it? You'll probably have to pass a drug screening. I don't give a hoot if you don't do it often or if you don't think it changes you at all, is it really worth losing your income over? I didn't think so. The bottom line is that it makes it a heck of a lot more difficult to provide for your family if your spending a ton of money on marijuana or other drugs. On top of that, when you are FIRED for not passing a drug screening? That's on your record. Good luck finding another decent job after that.

33. As much as you might want to, your baby/toddler/child doesn't need a pet. Puppies are cute, yes. But they're expensive. Not quite as expensive as your baby, but expensive. Dog food, vaccinations, chew toys, grooming fees, spaying/neutering etc. Until you are financially stable, (this is going to take a very long time for teenagers) you don't need an animal of any kind.

34. Leave the shopping to baby mama. Baby clothes, diapers, anything baby, leave it to her. She probably knows more about what sizes your baby needs, and she'll most likely have a really great time doing it. At the same time, have a say in what's happening. BUDGETING is your key role, seeing as its often difficult for us mother's to control ourselves around THE cutest outfit we've ever seen.

35. When making a family budget, include EVERYTHING. Eating out, sodas you buy at the gas station, the socks you bought because you can't find a single matching pair, everything. Write down your big bills first and then designate a certain amount of money towards everything else each month.

36. Unless you're in college, you probably don't need internet. Having a baby really brings into perspective what your needs really are. As I AM a college student, I require internet for all of my classes. (I'm an online student). You probably don't need cable either. If you DO have internet and want to watch TV on occasion, sign up for Netflix and HULU. It's a heck of a lot cheaper than paying for cable and you can still catch up on some of your favorite shows. Cutting out cable will save you a lot of money in the long run.

37. Down grade your phone. Especially if you have internet at home, you don't need a phone with internet too. You can cut down your phone bill from 70 dollars to 45 dollars by downgrading to a track phone. Walmart smartphones WITH internet still only cost 45 dollars a month. Even on your cheapest phone plans, your still saving 5 dollars by going with a Walmart phone.

38. Your baby NEEDS to see your face. As important as it is to have a job, and a good one at that, don't work so much that you only see your baby on the weekends. Those few hours after work throughout the week will pay off in the long run. I read somewhere that a man that only sees his child two days a week (the weekend) might as well be a divorced man, seeing as they have the same schedule.

39. Nurture your relationships with both your baby and your girlfriend. Even if your baby didn't show up at the time you expected, or if you weren't planning on having children for a long time, you're still a father, and your baby still needs to be loved just as much now, than if they'd been born later in life. Your girlfriend needs some of that love too. The love and support you show your baby is guaranteed to make her fall in love with you even more, but make sure to set aside some of that extra love just for her. A happy mama is a happy family.

40. It is FAR better to let your baby mama feel like she's right than to argue about it. Chances are, her hormones are raging, she's an emotional wreck, and she needs to feel justified and RIGHT in just about everything she does right now. Pick your fights and be prepared to lose all of those. But don't see it as losing, let her have her way. It WILL benefit you in the long run.

41. Your baby saying 'dad' for the first time is going to blow you out of the water. You or baby mama should write these events down. They only say their first word once, so capture the day on film, or write it down in a baby book. But document it. Your baby will look back on those books and laugh.

42. Make good memories. Don't let the only memories you have of being a teenage parent be memories of stress. Go on mini-vacations during the summer, go fishing, camping, take your toddler to Chuck E Cheese for their birthday. You can do so many things for little to no money. Indulge in these things every once in a while.

43. Accept now that your plan in life has changed. Your professional skateboarding career probably isn't going to happen. You aren't going to be some famous rapper or DJ or anything else. Why? Because if they aren't happening now or in the near future, you aren't going to have the time to get them started. You won't have time because you'll be too busy Actually providing for your family. Participate in these things when you can, but don't expect to make a career out of them anymore.

44. Life isn't going to slow down. You only have so many times to stop and really appreciate things before the moment is gone. Appreciate every single moment you have with your baby, even if they are screaming their head off. You are. So. Unbelievably. Fortunate to have had the capability to create that child. And you probably have no idea of how unbelievably precious these moments are, and how easily they can be taken away.

45. Even as dads, you need to read and keep up with everything that is happening in your baby's life. Read warning labels, books about parenting, everything. Educate yourself about crib and sleep safety so you NEVER have to wake up to your baby, motionless and cold in their crib, or in your own bed. You can never know too much. And taking a few minutes out of your day to really LEARN about how to take care of your baby, could very easily save their life.

46. Being a first time parent at our age is terrifying. I've read book after book, article after article about every baby subject under the sun and I'm still scared. I've seen first hand the devastation of SIDS and I don't ever want to experience that. I thank my lucky stars every day when I wake up to a smiling baby in the crib. Be THANKFUL for every single second that you have with your baby. You don't ever get those minutes back.

47. One of the hardest decisions you will have to make before your baby is even born is whether you should stay or go. Some people are truly not meant to be parents. And in reality, even if you helped create that life, both you and the mother have the opportunity to walk away. I BEG of you, if you choose to walk away, make one hundred percent certain someone is there to step in. If you know that there is never going to be a relationship between you and the baby's mother, inform her of this. Push for adoption before all else. Please. Even dad's regret abortion, and even though it's a viable option, there are still consequences.

48. If you decide to stay, go all in. By you and your girlfriend keeping the baby, you're making it so a family that IS financially stable, and IS ready for a baby, isn't able to step in and be the parents that they're dying to be. You need to work your hardest to become financially stable. You want to be able to say someday that you are what's best for your baby.

49. As no-brainer as it is. Don't have any more kids. As a teen dad, you don't NEED anymore financial responsibility. You didn't want any responsibilities to begin with, so why add even more responsibilities onto the mountain high list you already have now? Babies are a blessing. They are wonderful and beautiful, a total godsend. But they are work. They are constant hours of crying, and stress, and anger. They give you so much love, but so many aspects of your life disappear because of a baby. If you can't control your urge to sleep with everything that moves, make sure that birth control is being used. Use a condom. BE SMART ABOUT SEX. You now know that babies aren't dropped from the sky by a huge stork with a blue hat. Now that you know that, take precautions so another bouncing baby isn't dropped into your lap.

50. My biggest piece of advice is to love unconditionally. If you want a long committed relationship with your girlfriend, show her that you are here to stay. And no matter what, love your baby. Be there for them and comfort them no matter how many times you wake up in the night. They won't appreciate it when they're older. They probably won't even recognize how hard it was for you as teen parents. When your kids are old enough, tell them what you've learned and tell them that as much as you love them, you don't want your child to have to go through what you did. Tell them to wait to have kids, to abstain from sex, to be smart when they do have sex, and that no matter what happens, you'll still always love them.

Now, go be a good dad.

Follow us and share your own experiences!